news cycle
by lmacey
Summary: So this is set at the beginning/ mid of season two. What happens when a very private tape is leaked to the press, and Elizabeth's past secrets come out? Who is responsible? What are the consequences? Planning for this to be a multi chap. Please review and tell me if i should keep going with this. I don't own anything (I just wish I did) happy reading :)
1. Chapter 1

Late night phone calls were nothing out of the ordinary for Elizabeth. She deemed the necessary communication a part of the job, but that simple fact didn't mean she was fond of the idea of being woken from her already limited sleep. With the previous hectic day at the office, she ultimately decided she deserved to rest, and whatever problem there seemed to be, could be solved without her.

She turned on her side, ignoring the irritating buzzing noise. Just as her eyes began to slip closed, the ringing sounded through the silent room once again. She turned with a huff, and delved her hand blindly over her nightstand, searching for the offending device.

After finally grasping her phone, she answered with a hoarse 'hello'. "I'm sorry to wake you ma'am, but Russel Jackson is inside your home." One of her DS agents informed her. Her sleep fogged mind took a few seconds to process what had just been said to her. "What?" she mumbled. Elizabeth's eyes dashed to her bedside table and read the bright numbers on the clock. "It's three thirty in the morning." She spoke into the phone. "I apologize ma'am, but he said or rather yelled that the situation couldn't wait." The voice responded. "It never can with him." She replied before ending the phone call.

After dragging herself out of bed, and wrapping her body in a robe, Elizabeth opened her bedroom door. Her eyes flew wide open, and a gasp found its way from her lips when she was startled to find Russel an inch from her face. The older man stood in front of her, hand raised ready to knock on the now opened door. "What the hell." She snipped, hand resting over her rapidly beating heart. "We have a problem." He said sternly, and loudly, at least for a house full of sleeping people.

Elizabeth pulled her robe tighter against her body and laughed off his concern. "Well there better be a problem when you're waking me up in the middle of the night." She muttered, annoyance in her tone. "This isn't a matter for joking." He cautioned. Her eyebrows furrowed. The Secretary turned and quietly shut her bedroom door, aware the other occupants of the house were still asleep. She motioned with her hand to the staircase.

"Russel this is highly inappropriate." Elizabeth proclaimed. He chuckled dryly. "I could say the same." She stood behind the couch in the family room, watching on as Russel fumbled to find the remote to the television. "What exactly is this about?" she wondered. The chief of staff spun around towards her and they locked eyes for a moment, before he quickly turned his glance to the floor. He opened his mouth, but suddenly closed it. "I don't really know how to say this." There was a hesitance in his words. This behavior, coming from the usually upfront man, caused a wave of worry to rush through her body. He turned to the television, and pressed a few buttons before the screen came to life.

When Elizabeth realized what her eyes were seeing, her stomach dropped. Her heart sped up, and her mind began running a mile a minute. Her mouth hung open, at a loss for words. Her cheeks burned red, as she snatched the remote from the hands of Russel. She flipped through numerous other news stations, but only one story, the same story as the first, occupied their broadcast. Her jaw clenched. She felt sick seeing the tape, the sex tape, of her and Henry in bed together. She snapped the TV off in anger, before closing her eyes, and pinching the bridge of her nose. After a moment, she looked up at the almost forgotten man. Her gaze was cold, eyes filled with rage. "This could destroy you, Bess." He said firmly.

~2 weeks earlier~

"Let's catch Elizabeth up." Just by Conrad's simple sentence Elizabeth recognized this moment as the beginning of being blockaded from the inner circle. Stepping into the oval office to find every member of the NSC present except for her felt like a punch in the stomach.

She wasn't happy to discover that Conrad had selected the new National Security Advisor without her input, let alone hiring her old rival for the job. She was furious, but she served at the pleasure. But the way Craig Sterling operated drove her up the wall. She was having a hard time holding her tongue. And in their line of work it was vital for these two competing persons to be able to collaborate with one another. They needed to work together, stand together as one unit. But that was easier said than done when the pair couldn't agree on any national security and foreign policies.

At times the disagreements were reasonable. Elizabeth was in fact an out of the box thinker, sometimes there wasn't even a box. On the other hand, it often seemed he would simply disagree with her to push her buttons, hoping to receive a hostile reaction from the Secretary, making her look bad in front of the President.

And so he did. There were more than several times last week Elizabeth had lost her cool. "Craig has come up with a new defense initiative." The President had said. The Secretary took her seat, out of sorts from not receiving any of this new information. The whole situation with Craig angered her. It seemed that she was being pushed off to the side, utterly forgotten. "Look I get shifting our focus. But what about the impact that this is going to have on diplomatic relations?" Elizabeth spoke up addressing the President, currently thinking about what position she would be put in if Craig's idea was put into place. Sterling turned his head slightly and scowled at her, and declared, "Well, to that, I would say, Madam Secretary… you've had your turn. And you see where that led us." Her opinions were being overlooked, and she was frustrated. She turned to the President to hear his view on the topic. He quickly answered her pleading eyes with, "This is a done deal, Bess."

And certainly, it was.


	2. Chapter 2

Elizabeth was beginning to regret her rather rash decision. She was tired, and after this busy Monday, all she wanted was to merely sleep. She stepped out of her heels, and dropped her briefcase to the ground immediately after walking through the front door. The thud of the bag hitting the floor caught Henry's attention. "Hey babe." He said, looking up at her from his desk. "Hi." She huffed, flopping down into a chair in their shared office.

"Rough day?" her husband questioned, kneading the sore muscles of her shoulders. She moaned in appreciation of the action. She leaned her head back, and the gaze she gave told him the answer. "What happened?" he urged, leaning down and kissing the side of her neck. Bess tilted her head to the left, giving him more access to her skin. "We butted heads all day." She groaned. "You and sterling?" Henry probed. "Yeah." She sighed.

"All I want to do is climb in bed with you right now." she complained, reaching up, and cupping his cheek, keeping him pressed against her. He chuckled while pulling away. He smiled seeing the cute pout that graced her face from the loss of his lips. Henry looked at his watch, then declared "You better go change. They'll be here soon."

She shook her head, and rolled her eyes. "Rethinking your invitation?" he teased her. Elizabeth's head fell in her hands before replying, "God yes. I just really don't feel like seeing their faces right now, one in particular."

"Well you should have thought about that before asking them all over here." He pointed out. She turned quickly in her chair to face her husband. "I was on a high." She defended. He laughed at her declaration. "Ah that's right. Saturday morning golfing led to all this."

"You know I let the President win. But the others… I kicked Craig's ass!" she bragged, standing up and waving her arms. "Damn right!" he beamed, grabbing her waist and pulling her into him. "Damn right." She repeated. "You are so hot right now." He said into her hair. "God you have no idea how much I want you." she told him before pressing her lips to his. He gripped her shoulders and pushed her back. "Go get ready." He commanded.

Every member of the NSC had been invited over to her home for a casual dinner, and by eight some had filtered out, leaving about half behind. An hour after that it seemed only Elizabeth's close friends still remained. They sat glasses in hand around her living room, carrying on with a light conversation. Lizzie turned her head to the side. With slightly glazed over eyes, due to the number of drinks she has had, she gazed at Ellen and asked, "How's Andrew?"

Ellen went on about her son, clearly proud of his accomplishments. "He's doing great. He'll be starting at the War College soon."

"He's a good kid." Conrad commented. "I would very much like to think so. God knows the things he's done." Ellen replied with a laugh. The other adults in the room chuckled. "Trust me some things just need to be left alone." Russel declared. "I agree." Elizabeth and Conrad proclaimed in unison. "Excuse me, I'm going to use the bathroom." Craig muttered, and slipped out from the room. There was a minute of silence before the President said, "God can you believe how old they've gotten?" He looked at Elizabeth. She shook her head. "It seems like Stevie was just born yesterday…and now she's twenty years old, and back living in my house." Elizabeth joked resulting in more laughs from the group. Craig reappeared in the room, and took his place is the empty chair. "I can still remember her and Harrison running up and down the halls in Langley." Conrad stated, with a look of nostalgia on his face. Elizabeth sighed, and responded, "Oh our good old spy days."

"Now that brings me back." Conrad said. "I can recall the first op we ran together." Craig spoke up, and motioned between himself, Conrad, and Elizabeth. "That was when Agent Miller died, right?" he asked. Ellen and Russel looked around in confusion, unaware of the events of the current discussion. They both saw the sharp intake of air from both the President and the Secretary. "In a matter of fact it was." Elizabeth answered in a shaky voice. "You were the one in charge right?" Craig questioned. She knew what he was trying to do, but all she could muster to say was a simple, "yes".

"Yes I was in Baghdad." She added. "I was in Baghdad too." Conrad began, staring daggers at the woman across from him. "I was out of reach for barely even five minutes." He finished, raising his voice. "And I made the final decision." Bess stated, crossing her arms over her chest. "The wrong decision." The President barked. Maybe it was the drinks she has had, but she was no longer going to hold her tongue. "It was the best decision." She spit out. Ellen and Russel looked between the squabbling pair, not knowing how to defuse the situation. Craig sat back, happy with the outburst.

"It was the decision that killed Erica!" He yelled. Elizabeth stood from the couch in anger. She held her hands up in defense, and announced, "You can blame me all you want, but I'm not getting into this with you again!" She shouted.

Between the shouting, she hadn't heard the front door open and shut. After she took a deep breath, her husband, who had left half an hour earlier to pick up her two youngest children, stood behind Conrad, along with Ally and Jason. Her family had identical looks of shock written on their faces. "What's going on?" Henry asked, concerned for his wife. Conrad stood from his chair, which brought the remaining sitting people to their feet. "I think it's time for us to leave." The President expressed. They all grabbed their coats and made their way to the door. Ellen turned and placed a gentle hand on the Secretary's arm and said, "Thanks for having us Bess." Elizabeth gave a small smile and nodded her head. "I'll see you tomorrow." She said her goodbye, and closed the door.

"We're going to bed." Allison spoke for herself and her younger brother. Elizabeth took the few steps to the bottom of the staircase, and mumbled, "Alright." She kissed both of their heads. "Night mom. Night dad." Jason told them. "Goodnight. I love you…to the moon." Lizzie responded, as her children disappeared up the staircase.

"So what was that about?" Henry mused approaching his wife, and rested his palms on her hips. She sighed and shook her head. "Just a disagreement." She shook his worry off. He kissed her temple. "It didn't sound like just a disagreement. It sounded like a screaming match." Elizabeth chuckled. "Let's forget about it." She decided before pressing her lips hard against her husbands. After running out of air, they pulled back, but just enough, leaving their foreheads against one another's. "Take me to bed." She commanded.

Walking up the stairs she had decided the dinner was a very bad idea. She didn't want to think about the strain the memories of Erica had once again placed on her relationship with Conrad. She had thought they had finally put the conflict behind them, but then again recently it seemed that her initial thoughts were being proved incorrect in multiple circumstances. Who knew a simple dinner, would lead to one of her biggest nightmares.


	3. Chapter 3

Chap 3

Authors Note: Please review! They keep me writing and I love feedback, and like hearing new ideas! And I do realize that some of the character may be ooc at some points, but oh well it's all just for fun!

~Baghdad 2005~

She took a deep breath of fresh, overheated air after stepping out of the armed jeep. She surveyed her surroundings, looking from left to right and back again. Her eyes fell on the men and a few women dressed in uniforms walking freely around the base. She brushed the locks of golden hair that had fallen out of her ponytail, away from her sweaty face. Her cheeks were flaming from the almost unbearable heat of June. Elizabeth placed her sunglasses on her face, protecting her eyes from the blazing sun and the sand that flew up with each step she took. She approached the two armed men in front of her. They acknowledged her with a nod, assuring her she could go forward. She pulled back the opening of the small tent.

Her arrival had interrupted the conversation, but to her defense the only person she had expected in the small shelter was her boss. Three pairs of eyes darted to the door curious to see who had appeared. "Bess." Conrad greeted her. "Long time no see." She joked, being as she had just seen her boss when he arrived earlier this morning. "I believe you've met Agent Sterling." Conrad motioned with his hand to the younger man next to him. She indeed did remember him. She had a few encounters with the man in the past, all in which were not the best. Since the very beginning she had not been fond of the man. "It's nice to see you again." Elizabeth said politely, shaking his hand. "And you might remember Agent Miller." Conrad teased. Elizabeth laughed as she pulled her friend whom she hadn't seen in quite a while into a tight hug.

"I've missed you." Erica muttered, pulling out of the embrace. "Maybe if you would come home more often." Elizabeth gave her longtime friend grief. "Yeah, yeah." Erica brushed her remark off. "So how's being based in Hadithah?" Elizabeth asked. "Boring enough that I'm here." she replied. "You're being transferred?" Bess questioned her. "Temporarily." Their boss interjected. Lizzie turned to face him. "Only for about a week." The CIA director added. "We have some new Intel, and Conrad and I are going to be over there for a few days." Craig explained.

Lizzie crossed her arms over her chest. "And the reason why you need to be there is?" she questioned Craig, with a raise of her brow. "Bess, Craig has a history with who we're dealing with over there, and I thought his expertise could be useful." Conrad stepped in. She nodded her head, showing that she understood. "You'll be first in command when I'm gone. And you'll have Erica. And apparently she's been quite bored, so don't be afraid to work her hard." Conrad joked.

She had watched Conrad and Craig take off in a helicopter. After seeing it disappear into the clouds, she had discussed some new interrogation strategies with one of her subordinates. An hour later she decided she needed to get out of the direct rays of the sun, so she went back to one of the tents. She chuckled at the sight, Erica with her feet up on a desk, munching on a sandwich. Bess followed her lead and sat down in a chair with a huff. "Rough day?" her friend asked. "I don't like that guy." Bess declared, taking a sip of water. "Who, Craig?"

"How'd you know?" Elizabeth joked. "You forget that I have the same job as you." Erica teased back. "I don't know, there's just something about him." She shook her head. "So tell me, how's everyone?"

"We're all over the place at the moment." Bess answered. "Isn't that how we always are?" Elizabeth sighed and nodded. "Isabelle still hating London?" Elizabeth laughed. "She says it never stops raining, the food is terrible, and the guys in MI6 don't get her jokes."

"We don't get her jokes." Erica commented. "I didn't tell her that." Lizzie defended. The pair burst into a fit of laughter. After a moment Erica turned the conversation into a more serious topic. "So are you and Henry okay?"

Elizabeth took a deep breath of air. "No. But we will be." She proclaimed. "I told him if I'm going to turn down the station chief position that I needed to be here for a month or two… You know I just can't help but feel like I'm letting Conrad down. And it's either I take the position or quit. I can't go backwards." She explained. "So this is your last hooray." Bess looked at the ground and nodded. "What do you think you'll do?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "Teach? I don't know." She supposed. "And is Juliet happy about the job?" Elizabeth's words died on her lips, hearing the sounds of heavy gunfire. Both women jumped to their feet, grabbing their guns from their holsters. "What the hell is that?" Elizabeth wondered out loud. "Is there any training today?" Erica asked frantically. Bess shook her head. They both moved to the door. She swallowed hard, worried that her small caliber weapon would be no match for the automatics she heard outside. "On my count." Erica announced.

Not even within the first minute of stepping outside the barrier of the tent, a bullet had pierced the skin of Elizabeth's left shoulder. "Shit." She hissed at the ache. Erica looked back seeing the force of the hit knock Elizabeth backwards hitting the ground. "Bess!" she yelled, still firing her weapon at the masked persons. Lizzie groaned, placing a hand over the bleeding wound. Her entire shoulder pulsed with agonizing pain. "Bess!" She yelled again, but there was no response. "She's hit! She's hit!" She screamed.

~present~

For the past four days Elizabeth had avoided the White House as much as she could, but being the Secretary of State it was rather impossible to do so. She was considered the President's right hand man, aiding him in making crucial decisions. She never asked for this job, but when Conrad arrived at the farm unannounced, there was no way in hell she would let him down again. She decided that day that she would do this job, and do it damn well.

In the very first few months of taking her post as Secretary of State, Elizabeth would find any and every way to work around Russel Jackson. In the beginning she didn't get along with the President's chief of staff. She would much rather go straight to the top, facing the President. These past few days had her turned around, preferring to work with Russel rather than Conrad. But with her job title that wouldn't, couldn't, last for long.

She found herself being called into situation room in the early afternoon. She was briefed on her drive to the White House, discovering three of the US's assets in Syria were captured.

She pushed through the double doors, and all eyes were on her. "What do we know?" she asked, sitting down in her assigned chair. She looked around the table meeting glances with everyone but the President. "The assets were caught two hours ago. All three of them were brought to Sednaya Military Prison." Ellen, the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs informed. "Do we know why?" Elizabeth questioned.

"We tried to contact President Daher, but…" He waved his hand in the air. "It seems their cover was blown. We went through some back channels and found out they'll be on trial in three days." The Secretary of Defense replied. "They'll be executed." Elizabeth muttered. "So what are our options?" The Secretary of State mused.

"We were discussing running a small op, before you arrived." Craig Sterling spoke up. Elizabeth rose from her chair, and paced the ground. She nodded her head at his words. "We send in a few guys. They're in, they're out. Get it done quickly and quietly." Lizzie ran the idea through her head. "Except we can't. We decided it's too risky." Conrad proclaimed. "Conrad we don't have another choice." She fought. "You're right, we don't." he clarified. Her mouth was left agape realizing what he was insinuating. "You're out of your mind." The Secretary scoffed. "Elizabeth remember who you're talking to." Russel grumbled. "We can't just let them die!" Lizzie argued. "It's a suicide mission!" The President barked.

~Baghdad 2005~

'She's hit! She's hit!' had been the last thing she had heard. Her eyes fluttered open fighting against the harsh light. She squinted, looking around. She was lying in a small bed, and to her right, someone who looked like Erica was talking to a medic. Elizabeth let a groan slip from her lips when the pain from her shoulder reminded her of what had happened. The subtle but noticeable noise caught her friend's attention. The woman turned around and was at her bedside immediately. "How long have I been out?" Bess wondered. "Not long at all." She answered. "Um… it was a through and through. You should be alright." She stuttered, repeating what the doctor had told her only a few minutes ago. Elizabeth looked down at her shoulder, now in a sling. Lizzie nodded as she sat up. Erica didn't try to fight with her, knowing she would never win. "What the hell happened?" Bess asked.

"We were ambushed. One fatality, and four inured, including you." Erica informed her. "The fatality?" Lizzie asked. Erica sighed, and then said, "Officer Steven Daniels." Erica saw her friend's eyes shut hearing the name. "Did you know him long?" She asked. Bess shook her head. "No I only just met him, but he was so young." She murmured. There was a moment of silence before Erica shared, "Bess we have a bigger problem."

The wind pelted sand against their faces as they walked across the base. Each step she took caused a jolt of pain to rush through her shoulder. The sling wasn't doing much for her, but she would never admit that. "Tell me everything we know." Elizabeth commanded. The young man who was previously typing away at his laptop looked up. Upon seeing her he rose from his chair, and straightened his stance. "Yes ma'am. At approximately thirteen hundred hours two of our men were taken hostage by a small group of Iraqi soldiers." Officer Thomas Jones turned his computer screen towards them. "This came in about twenty minutes ago. It's in Arabic but it says…" He was cut off by Bess reading the message. "Americans in exchange for Abbas." She read. "Abbas as in?" Erica questioned. "As in an Iraqi captain we picked up last week." The officer clarified.

Elizabeth took a step backwards and shook her head. "We can't do that. We don't negotiate with terrorists." Erica said more to herself than the others. "I understand, but ma'am we do have the location where they are being held." Thomas chimed in. Elizabeth ran her right hand through her hair. "We can't just let them die." She admitted. Erica looked at her friend. "We can do a small op. Send in a handful of guys." Erica suggested. "I want to go." Elizabeth announced. "No." Erica said bluntly. Lizzie's eyebrows rose, telling her to explain. "You're not a field agent." She defended. Elizabeth dryly chuckled. "Well if today didn't look like the field…" she scoffed, motioning around her with her good arm. "You're hurt, Bess."

Elizabeth sighed. She was right. "Okay." She responded. "I'll go." Erica spoke up. Bess gave her a look. "It'll be fine." She reassured. "It's risky." Lizzie contemplated. "I'm trained. It'll be okay." Elizabeth turned to Thomas, and asked, "Has anyone been in contact with Director Dalton?" He shook his head. "We can't reach him. Their coms are down for some reason….It's your call." He looked up at her from his chair with waiting eyes. She swallowed hard then declared, "Do it."

She fiddled with her ear piece as she and a few others stood around a table watching the monitor as the group slowly walked towards their target. "How much further?" Bess asked Major Lane. "Quarter mile. ETA four minutes."

At that very minute a Sergeant came running towards them, phone in hand. "Ma'am, Director Dalton." He told her, holding out the phone to her. "Yeah." She said firmly. "Bess, what the hell is going on?" He asked harshly. "We were attacked. Two of our men were taken hostage." She explained, turning back towards the monitor. "I understand that, I was filled in. Are you sending our guys in?" he questioned. She could hear the annoyance in his voice. "A team of six." She answered. "You can't do that." He argued. "It's already in place." She defended. "Bess it's a suicide mission! Put Miller on, I want to know her stance." Conrad demanded. Lizzie sighed. "Sir…" She began. "She went in." He muttered. "They're approaching the building." Major Lane informed her. "It's at your say." He added. The pulsing pain in her shoulder seemed to intensify as she stared at the screen, her friend's face looking back at her. Elizabeth exhaled then decided, "Go."

~present~

"We need to talk." Elizabeth announced. The President stood behind his desk. He looked up hearing a voice, but returned his focus to the file in his hand when seeing who was in the room. "Give us the room Russel." The President commanded. The chief of staff reluctantly stepped out, shutting the door to the Oval Office behind him. Lizzie approached his desk, and stopped in front of him. "We need to talk about Yellow Sun." She told him. He looked up at her, surprised at her words. "Fine. You have my attention." Conrad retorted, moving to lean against the front of his desk.

"Why did you give me this job?" She asked already knowing the answer. "I told you why." He remarked. She took a step closer to him. "You said you didn't want a politician in this post. Well this is me not being a politician. I didn't uproot my life and my family to come and sit here and have my opinions be placed on the back burner. I came here to do the job that you said only I could do so for god's sake Conrad, let me do it!" She argued, raising her voice.

"You know, I know that we may not have many options for rescuing these guys or maybe even none at all, but I know the Conrad I used to know…" She pointed her finger at the man. "Would be in that room working through every possible solution until we knew for a fact that we couldn't do anything." She finished. The President was silent.

"Do you trust me?" she whispered. "Honest to god, do you trust me Conrad?" She addressed. "Bess…" he began. "Answer the question." She interrupted. "Of course I do, Elizabeth!" He yelled, waving his arms. "Then what is your deal? Why are you resenting me?" She pushed him, taking another step forward.

Elizabeth crossed her arms over her chest, 'protecting' herself. "I know you blame me for what happened in Yellow Sun, and I don't hold you at fault for that, because I blame myself. Believe me when I tell you how long it took for me to get back to being the closest thing there was left to my normal self. I couldn't even leave the house! I didn't want to see my kids, Conrad!" She screamed, trying to make him understand what she had went through when returning from Iraq. "Bess…"

"I really thought I was doing what was best." Her eyes were watering now, and she was squinting at her friend. "Maybe I made the wrong call. I don't know, but it's the past, our past, and if we stay stuck up on this… We can point the finger all day long, but it's not going to change anything. It's not going to bring her back." Tears were running down her cheeks.

She opened her mouth to say something else, but before she could, she was being pulled into his arms. She sighed relieved at the comfort. She pressed her forehead to his shoulder, burying her face into his suit, shielding her cries from the man. "I know we can't bring her back, but do you blame me for wanting to?" he whispered. She shook her head against him. "Do you blame me for being angry?" he asked. Lizzie looked up and their eyes connected. "No." she answered, simply. "I… I needed something, someone to be angry at, and I took that anger out on you. I'm sorry for that." He pulled her tighter. She gripped the fabric of his suit. "I miss her." She wept. The sound of sniffling filled the quiet room until Conrad said, "You made the right decision…" She glanced up at him. "I would have made the same one." He admitted.


	4. Chapter 4

Authors Note: Hope you're enjoying this story :) Should I continue? Let me know!

'This could destroy you.' Russel's words rang through her mind, seeming to repeat over and over on a never ending cycle. "I thought you should know right away." Russel decided. The man stood a bit awkwardly, fiddling with his hands, clearly embarrassed talking about the touchy matter. She cleared her throat, and self-consciously pulled her robe tighter around her body.

"So what now?" She asked, reluctantly. Elizabeth looked at her feet, not daring to meet his eyes. Russel sighed. "Damage control." He offered, his voice wavering. He was unsure of what to do in this particular situation. "How?" Bess questioned, needing to know what their next steps were. He hesitated. "I'm not sure." He answered, truthfully. "There's going to be backlash." The chief of staff informed her.

She shook her head. "Enough to oust me from Washington?" She scoffed at his words. "A sex tape with my own husband?" Elizabeth asked, unbelieving that this could actually ruin her. She placed a hand on her chest, and laughed dryly. "It would be another thing if the man in the video was someone other than Henry…but we're not doing anything wrong." She argued. "You haven't seen the whole tape." Russel replied.

~1 week earlier~

She waited anxiously, listening to the chatter of adults and the laughter of children around the park. Elizabeth sat staring straight ahead at the fountain in front of her. Her posture straitening, hearing footsteps of someone approaching her. He calmly sat down on the opposite end of the park bench. "It's been some time, Elizabeth. One would say I missed you." The man said. She kept her focus, not yet turning to face him.

"I need to broker another deal on the ground in Syria." She requested rather bluntly. "What kind of deal?" He asked. She turned her gaze to him when she said, "Three assets were captured. Already scheduled for trial."

"I'm sorry. I'm not in the spy pool." The man declared. "You must still know people." She argued, turned her head to look forward again. "Bess, I'm telling you I'm fully legit now. State Department. I can get you caviar and vodka…" He began. She gave him an unbelieving stare, her eyes cutting through his lie. "I like it here, okay? I can't risk going back to Russia, not now." He admitted, shaking his head.

Lizzie slid across the bench, leaning into the man. "Let me ask you something… How's your daughter liking Yale? Sophomore right? And your son. Sights set on Brown?" He scoffed, knowing where she was going with her threat. "You're cashing in your chips, huh?" He questioned. "If that's not enough, I'm reminding you that as Secretary of State I can have any foreign diplomat removed off of US soil for any reason." She warned. He nodded his head. "Congratulations. You just bought yourself three American lives." He announced.

She pushed through the heavy double doors for the second time that day, except this time around Conrad was by her side, their steps in unison. The table full of sitting people stood upon their arrival.

Russel didn't waste any time, and asked, "What's the plan, Sir?" His question was directed at The President, but Elizabeth seemed eager to jump in. She stepped up to the table and announced, "I know some people on the ground. I'd like to proceed through back channels at this point."

"What do you mean back channels?" The chief of staff addressed her. "Not an official op. I think it's safer and faster just to work with the people I know." She explained, her hands moving about. "The trouble is I don't know the people you know." Russel pointed out. "This isn't some op you're calling the shots on. You're not in the CIA anymore." Craig fought, daring her to push the topic further. "He's right. We need to do this my way. Keep it within the Company." Russel proclaimed. "Russel, we'll do this my way. I'm going with Bess on this." The President stepped in. She looked his way for a single moment, her gaze saying he made the right choice.

She usually wasn't one to complain, but she was tired…and hungry. They had settled into the not so comfortable situation room chairs two hours ago, waiting. Waiting for confirmation. Waiting to know the future of three American lives.

Elizabeth was pulled from her reverie, feeling the soft touch of Conrad's hand on top of hers. She turned her attention to him. He leaned in close, and whispered, "I wanted to thank you, Bess." He began, but she was quite unsure of what he was referring to. The furrow of her brows urged him to explain. "What you told me earlier…I needed to hear that. Lately I feel like I've pushed to the side what I really stand for, who I really am. And who I am, well that's the reason I'd like to believe why I was elected. Don't get me wrong, in this job I think it's necessary at times to push that all away for the sake of the country, but recently… I feel like I've forgotten why I ran in the first place, and I want to get back to that." He admitted quietly. She nodded understanding, and sadly smiled at her friend. "I'll be at your side every step of the way, Conrad."

"We've got a live feed." Ephraim Ware announced to the room. Elizabeth rose from her seat, and shifted her weight from foot to foot. She took in a breath of air quickly. She was tense. If this went bad it all fell on her shoulders. She didn't know if she was prepared for that, prepared to let Conrad down.

The occupants of the room studied the monitor intently, watching on as the small group of uniforms approached the building. They stood anxiously waiting. After three minutes of radio silence some members of the NSC began pacing the room. The President stood from his chair and made his way to the front of the table, Bess hung back, staying standing behind her respective chair. "There they are." Gordon commented. The gates surrounding the compound opened, and the three disheveled men stumbled their way out. The defense team met them halfway, guns raised, still at the ready. Once they were surrounded, one of the Captains announced, "They're secured. We're coming home."

Applause erupted in the situation room, everyone ecstatic at the very unlikely outcome. A sense of relief rushed over Elizabeth. She let the breath she had been holding out, knowing that her decision she had made hadn't done damage. She looked on as Ellen embraced Ephraim. As Russel clapped hands with Gordon. But she was only focused on one. She locked eyes with him. His gaze said it all, bringing her back to the place she had ran from. The room was full of celebrating people, yet she felt as they were the only two. This was all too similar. As Russel shared a few words with Conrad, his gaze still fell on her. He mouthed 'Thank you." His simple words were comforting. Everyone was safe, and everyone was coming home, alive.

She was tired, and hungry. Lizzie sighed, leaning her head against the side of the SUV. She gazed out the window, watching as the houses appeared and disappeared. Her head was beginning to hurt. Each breath she took caused an ache of pain to throb behind her eyes. All she could manage to think about was eating something, preferably greasy, and curling up with Henry. She was relieved when the car stopped, and her home was in view. The door was opened for her, and she stepped out of the vehicle. Her legs were so wobbly, she didn't think she would make it to the door.

She pushed open her door, and took a huff of air once inside. She dropped her briefcase to the ground, and stepped out of her heels. Being almost nearly midnight, she hadn't expected her children to be awake. But to her surprise upon entering the kitchen, she was met with the sight of their faces. Elizabeth mustered as much as a smile she could handle. They all stood around the counter. Stevie pouring a bag of popcorn into a bowl while the younger two stood arguing about something that Elizabeth didn't have the energy to listen to. Henry was simply leaning against the island looking at her. "You guys are up pretty late." She commented. "It's a Friday night mom." Stevie argued. "To our defense, we were all in bed, but dad wanted us to watch a movie with him." Allison informed her. Elizabeth's gaze switched from her daughter to her husband. "He did?" He looked up at his wife. That look on his face, she knew that look. She gave him a skeptical glare. "I think he's just lonely mom, he missed you." Stevie stated. Henry straightened his stance, and said, "Guilty."

"Why don't you guys go pick a movie?" Henry suggested. "Fine, but I'm not watching some chick flick." Jason announced. "Well I'm not watching another one of your war movies." Allison countered following her younger brother into the living room. Stevie simply shook her head at the bickering pair. "How about Hairspray!" Stevie suggested excitedly. A loud vote of 'no's' came immediately from the living room. "We always watch that because it's your favorite." Ally complained. Stevie disappeared into the room to continue participating in the sibling squabble.

Once the last child exited the room, Bess turned to her husband, concern written on her face. "What's wrong?" She asked anxiously. "I didn't want the kids to know just yet." He admitted, pulling her into the foyer, away from prying ears. Just as Henry opened his mouth to speak, Matt descended the staircase. Elizabeth looked from the DS agent to her husband, eyebrows raised. "What's going on?" She questioned firmly to no one in particular. "There was a breach in security ma'am." Matt answered calmly. Her tired mind couldn't handle any more stress today.

"What?" she asked, alarmed. She looked at Henry, wanting an answer, but Matt stepped in. "Madam Secretary there were listening devices found in your bedroom." He explained. "Well how the hell did that happen?" She asked him forcefully. "We're not sure ma'am." He answered, honestly. She was angry, and Henry could visibly see the rage growing in her eyes. "Lizzie…" he warned, placing a hand on her arm. She stepped away from his touch. "How long has the device been in place?" Henry asked. "Since this morning?" he trailed on.

"We're not sure. It could have been placed anywhere from Monday to today." He replied. Elizabeth crossed her arms over her chest. "What happened to sweeping the house once a day!" she yelled. "Madam Secretary, we have a routine sweep every other day. We cleared the house Monday morning, but it seems there was a mistake. Wednesday was somehow missed." He informed her. She was not happy. "Well Matt that's one hell of a mistake to make!" Lizzie condemned. He looked down at the ground, embarrassed. "Were there any other bugs found in the house?" She muttered. "Like I told Dr. McCord, no we just checked the children's rooms…nothing popped up. But we'd like to take any electronic devices down to the FBI just to be safe."

She sighed and looked at Henry, silently asking for his support. Seeing her discomfort, Henry clasped a hand around her small cold one. Good god this was making out to be a great day. She was tired, still hungry, and now filled with a sense of great worry.


	5. Chapter 5

Author's note: Soo the wait is over, you finally get to find out what's on the tape! Is it what you expected? Review and let me know what you think! Thanks for all of you who have stuck with this story! There's more to come very soon! Happy reading :)

Chap 5

Sanctuary. A place of refuge or safety. That's what her home had always felt like for her. It's a place where she could escape. Where she could hide away. A place where the walls barricaded her from the outside world. Of course her safe haven wasn't actually the house itself, but instead her family.

It had been four days since she was informed her house had been tapped. It had been four days, and yet no progress concerning the matter had been made. They had taken any and every necessary step directed towards them. Electronic devices were taken and cleared by the FBI. The house had extra security, and was being swept twice a day, until further notice. But they had no luck, nothing was turning up.

It was all so frustrating. The situation was also becoming more and more difficult to hide from the children. Elizabeth and Henry had both agreed they wanted to keep this from the kids. The parents didn't need them to worry, and didn't want this on their shoulders. The problem was that their children were all perceptive as hell. They were beginning to question the extra security presence. They noticed the whispering between their mom and dad. But Lizzie wanted to avoid the topic, especially if she didn't have an answer for all the questions they would have. She was left worrying what would happen next.

~present~

Russel shifted on his feet and cleared his throat, hoping to draw the attention of The Secretary. She looked up at him with wild eyes. Her gaze drifted from his face to the object he was gripping in his right hand. "Every news station in DC is running this story right now. The papers have their hands on it too, and luckily someone at the Post owed me a favor." Russel took a step closer to her. "This is what they have." He informed her, handing her the flash drive.

"They have everything from Monday through Friday. I have lawyers sorting through it all, but it's looking like the only problem right now is Monday night." She nodded at his words. He was silent for a moment, searching for the appropriate words. "I'm really sorry this is happening to you, Bess."

She didn't speak a word. No emotion showed on her face as she showed Russel out. She thanked her old CIA days for the countless tricks she had learned. Keeping her face as still as stone when all she wanted to do was scream, was one of her many tactics. She closed the door; it shut with a single soft click. She was frozen, staring ahead, until she remembered the tiny piece of plastic in her hand. Elizabeth turned to the left, opening the door to her and Henry's office. She made a beeline to her desk, not bothering to turn on any lights. She frantically shoved the flash drive into her computer.

Her trembling fingers danced across the keyboard. The screen came to life. The harsh white light straining her eyes. She blinked multiple times before her tired eyes adjusted. She swallowed hard before opening the file on her desktop. A still picture of her bedroom filled the frame. Her heart sped up as she clicked the play button.

The sound of lips on lips could be heard on the video before the pair frantically entered the room. Elizabeth moaned loudly as Henry nibbled on that spot, 'the' spot, behind her ear. She pulled back, and connected their lips in a bruising kiss, before she put her palms on his chest and pushed him backwards. The back of Henry's legs hit the bed. He reluctantly sat down on the edge, and eyed his wife, standing before him. He looked her up and down, and smiled seeing the mischievous smirk on her face.

She playfully rolled her eyes as she moved to straddle his lap. Henry placed his lips on her neck, causing her to tilt to the right, giving him more access to her skin. "I've been waiting for The President to leave ever since he stepped through the door." He muttered in between kisses. "Oh god, Henry." She yelped when he nipped a sensitive patch of flesh. "Couldn't keep my eyes off of you." he told her, as he ripped through the buttons of her blouse.

She began to fast forward the footage. She didn't need to see this, being as she lived through it. Tears welled in her eyes, but she pushed her emotions away, knowing she had to see what else was on the tape. She pressed play again.

They were lying in bed, wrapped in one another's embrace. Their skin glistened on camera. They were covered in a layer of perspiration from their intense bout of sex. It was dark in the room, but the bedside table lamps had just enough light to illuminate their faces.

Elizabeth turned suddenly in Henry's arms, and buried her face in his chest. "Babe? What's the matter?" He asked. "We were fighting." She admitted, looking up at him. "You and Conrad?" He asked back. She simply nodded her head, and sighed. "About?" he questioned. "Erica." She whispered.

All she had to do was mutter that one name, and Henry tensed. He knew how sensitive the topic was, and he knew that his wife and the leader of the free world still had unsettled business even after all these years. He mumbled the only two words he could think of, "I'm sorry."

"He blames me… I knew he did, but this was the first time he verbally expressed it." She declared. He held her a bit tighter knowing how hard this was to talk about. "He's just upset babe." Henry replied.

"You don't think I'm upset? I lost my friend too." She snapped. "I'm sorry." She quickly apologized and shook her head. "It's just whenever she's brought up… I go back to Iraq." Elizabeth explained.

"Don't do this to yourself." Henry tried to comfort her, knowing where the conversation was leading to. "She would have stopped us… stopped me." She decided. "We were at war, Elizabeth. It changes the landscape and it forces you to face things you didn't even want to know." Henry told her, trying to make her understand.

She swiftly sat up in bed, her tousled hair flying about. She looked down at Henry and said, "Stress positions, physical abuse, waterboarding…" She began, waving her hands around. "I'm a torturer. I tortured people Henry!" She announced, pointing her hand at her chest. "It wasn't against the law. There were provisions." He defended. She scoffed at his words. "Like that's supposed to make me feel better. They were vile, evil provisions." She argued.

He followed suit, and shifted to a sitting position. She sucked in a breath of air, and looked down at her hands. "There was a boy at the market where a bomb went off, about Jason's age; a girl about Allison's… The scream that mother made when she I.D.'d the bodies. Fifteen kids maimed or dead." She began. Her gaze shifted to her husband, and her eyes caught his. "To have the guy responsible right in front of you, to feel that rage for justice." She said loudly. "I gave in to that." She declared before laying down back flat against the bed. She looked up towards the ceiling before saying, "She would have stopped me."

"You don't know that…" Henry fought. "Yes I do. Erica wouldn't have let me do that to those people, but I killed her." She told him, silent tears beginning to streak down her cheeks.

"Lizzie…" He said sadly. It hurt him seeing her hurting like this. "I don't want to talk about this anymore." She decided, flipping to her side, back towards him. He didn't expect anything more from her. Being as she barely discussed the matter with him, he was rather surprised she had said as much as she did. He leaned over and pressed a kiss into her hair. "I love you." he told her.

Elizabeth slammed her laptop shut. She sucked in a deep breath, feeling as if she couldn't breathe. She didn't know what to do, how to handle this. 'This could destroy you.' Russel's words rang through her mind, while her cries echoed through the dark office.


	6. Chapter 6

Chap 6

Author's Note: Here's the next chapter. Chapter seven is on its way, and you'll get to see the kids' reaction to finding out what all is on the tape! Happy reading :)

Elbows resting on her desk, she cried into her hands. She was overwhelmed, embarrassed, and extremely hurt. She didn't know what to do, so she went to the one person who could comfort her.

She had managed to calm herself down quite a bit. She breathed in and out as she took the steps two at a time. She pushed her bedroom door open slowly, peaking inside. With the morning light shining through the windows, Elizabeth was able to see Henry's face. To her avail, he was still asleep, his features peaceful. She felt guilty. She decided she didn't want to wake him. She sighed, taking a few steps forward and dropped onto the bench at the end of their bed. She bent over, head falling onto her knees.

Henry's eyelids fluttered, hearing the relentless beeping noise. He pushed his pillow over his ears, muffling the displeasing sound. Knowing Elizabeth's alarm went off well before his own, he expected his wife to silence the offending device. After a few more seconds of the loud noise, he called out her name. There was no response. Henry moved his knee, planning to nudge his wife, but her side of the bed was empty. Nothing but cold sheets were in her place.

Reluctantly, Henry opened his eyes, and rolled over across the bed, turning off the alarm clock. He had assumed Elizabeth had been called into the office early; it wasn't out of the ordinary. That was until he spotted her, slouched over at the end of the bed.

She didn't know how long she had been sitting here. It could have been for minutes, for hours. She didn't know. She was startled when a hand was on suddenly on her shoulder. She looked up at him, noticing his worried expression. She could see his lips moving, but her wired mind was unable to comprehend what was being said. She blinked harshly, letting her eyes fall closed as she rubbed her fingers against her temples. "You're scaring me, Elizabeth." He commented. She ran a hand through her hair, nervously. Bess stood, yearning to be close to him, needing his support. "I don't know what to do." She muttered.

Henry pulled her closer by gently grabbing her elbow. "What's going on?" He talked frantically. She rubbed a hand over her face. She didn't know how to answer his question. How to tell him what has happened. She didn't know what to say. "I…" she began, but she moved away from his touch, and over to the bedside table. She clicked on the TV, and moved back to his side.

After the screen began to light up, she threw the remote onto their bed. Henry turned to the left to face the source of noise, hearing the broadcasters' voice. 'Early this morning, we were made aware of a scandalous tape featuring Secretary of State Elizabeth McCord and her husband.' She studied the side of his face as he watched the live feed. Snapshots of the pair in bed appeared on the screen. The words 'The Secretary shows all' rolled across the bottom of the television.

Henry's mouth fell agape, his body was in utter shock. He turned to Elizabeth, and asked, "How did this happen?" She shook her head, and shrugged her shoulders. She wished she knew.

"Henry…" his name fell from her lips, barely above a whisper. She rubbed her lips together, trying to vocalize what she was thinking. Her eyes met his. He was frightened to see how helpless the strongest person he had come to know looked at this very moment. "Erica…" She mumbled. "They have everything I said." she announced, taking a step towards him. "They have everything." She muttered. He wrapped his arms around her; his body engulfing her small frame. She laid her head on his shoulder, while his rested atop hers. "Everything's going to be okay." He consoled her. "I'm scared." She admitted, clenching her fists around his shirt. "Me too." He whispered before placing a kiss into her hair.

They stood together in the middle of their bedroom, embracing, comforting one another. Their moment of peace and ease was quickly interrupted, when two voices bickering over the bathroom filled the upstairs. The pair pulled apart and turned to their open bedroom door where their oldest suddenly appeared. Stevie stood, toothbrush in her mouth, eyebrows furrowed, studying her parents. "It's almost seven. Don't you guys need to get ready?" the teenager asked. "We'll be down shortly." Henry replied. The answer must have satisfied their daughter because Stevie left their room without further questioning.

Elizabeth stood fiddling with the coffee pot, biting her lip in concentration. After a minute of trying to get the machine to work, she threw down the filter and plastic piece in her hand. The objects clattered against the countertop. "What the hell is wrong with this thing!" She bellowed, waving her hands.

Henry glanced at his overly tense wife. He stepped away from the stove. "Stevie." He said, getting the girl's attention. Henry motioned for her to take over cooking the pan of eggs. He stepped behind his wife, one hand landing on her hip while the other reached around her body grabbing the piece to the coffee machine. He leaned in brushing against her. "I'll take care of this babe. Why don't you go sit down and try to relax." He suggested. She nodded her head, and moved away from the counter.

"Eggs are done." Stevie announced, walking towards the table. "Great I need all the energy I can get for the big game today." Allison replied. Stevie equally distributed the food between the plates. "Mom do you want some?" She asked. Bess looked up to her daughter from the table. "No sweetie. I'm fine." She answered. "You should really eat something." Stevie said, and gave her mother eggs anyway. "Your cup of coffee." Henry declared, setting the steaming mug in front of her. She mouthed the words 'thank you.'

"Mom do you think you'll be able to make it to my soccer game?" Ally asked, a very hopeful smile graced her face. Elizabeth sighed. "I am going to try my very best baby." She told her. "I'll be there noodle." Henry said, sitting down at the breakfast table.

"Let's see what's going on in the world today." Jason proposed, grabbing the remote. Elizabeth and Henry shared a knowing glance before Henry reacted immediately and snatched the controller from his son's hand. "Hey." He protested. "Look we all need to talk." Henry disclosed. "We'll be late to school." Ally told her dad. "You can be late one day." Henry fought. "Sweet!" Jason proclaimed. The teenager was always looking for any reason not to be at school. "I have a test first bell!" Ally argued.

"Allison, this is important." He said firmly, sitting down next to his wife and across from his three kids. Stevie looked from her father's stern face to her mother's worried expression. "What's wrong?" Their oldest questioned. "Something's happened." Bess expressed. "Something you can actually talk about?" Jason replied. Elizabeth looked down at the table, taken aback by her son's comment. Henry folded his arms over his chest and warned, "Jace."

"What it's a valid question." He responded. "Guys!" Henry said sternly, grabbing their attention. Once they quieted down, he turned his head and silently told his wife to continue. "A tape of me and your father was given to the press." She said quickly. "A tape?" Ally asked, confused on what the statement meant. "A tape of us in bed." She clarified. Bess's cheeks turned a bright shade of red at her own words. Ally looked away from her parents in embarrassment. "Oh god." Jason said in disgust. "How did this tape come about… did you two…" Stevie began, but her mom cut her off, knowing where she was going. "Of course not."

"Last week we found out our bedroom had been bugged." Henry explained. "And were you ever going to tell us?" Stevie raised her voice. The oldest looked from her dad to her mom, waiting for an answer.

She felt like she couldn't breathe. All eyes were on her making her feel claustrophobic. The topic she was opening up was very personal, something she chooses not to talk about, even with Henry. She didn't know if it was the little sleep she had gotten the night before, but she couldn't handle this. She pushed up from the table, and muttered, "This…this is too much. I'm not ready to do this right now."

"Lizzie." Henry protested, but she had already left the room. "Elizabeth." Henry called after her. She looked back at him, hand on the doorknob. "I can't talk about this right now, Henry." She defended. "Hey." He began, placing his hands on both of her shoulders. She looked to the right, avoiding his eyes. "I know this is hard for you babe." He reassured her. "I don't want them going to school today." She blurted. He nodded his head in agreement. "And keep them away from the TV and their phones." She added. There was a moment of silence before she decided, "This needs to come from me."


	7. Chapter 7

AN: Here's the next update. Not sure how I feel about it…but more to come soon! Enjoy!

Chap 7

"Don't look at me like that, Blake." She commanded. "I'm not looking at you ma'am." He disagreed, keeping his gaze downwards as she stepped off the elevator. He handed her the usual cup of coffee before they started walking. "What's on the agenda today, Blake?" Her assistant abruptly stopped in his tracks, engaged in something on his phone screen. "Well ma'am that will all have to wait because you're needed at the White House." She nodded, and they both turned around and began walking in the direction they had just came from.

Elizabeth sighed as she slipped into her SUV. "Morning Daisy." She greeted her press secretary. "Madam Secretary." She said. When the car pulled away from the curb, Daisy started the unavoidable topic. "Ma'am you and I both know what we need to discuss." Daisy told her. Lizzie stayed quiet, simply looking out the window. "Madam Secretary, we need to release a statement."

"No." she replied quickly. Daisy was taken aback. "Pardon me ma'am, but if we don't approach the matter, it will appear we're avoiding the subject." Daisy explained. "I'm not ready." She argued. "I don't think the press cares if you're ready." The press secretary fought. "I said no, Daisy!" She said firmly.

The NSC briefing had gone rather quickly, compared to the lengthy meetings they had been having recently. It always seemed that certain members of The President's inner circle had a reason to tear one another's ideas to pieces. With The President absent today, no one felt the need to show off.

"That's all for today." Ephraim announced, closing his planner. People stood, and made a move to leave including Elizabeth, but a touch on her shoulder caused her to turn around. Just the man she wanted to see. "Elizabeth. I just wanted to convey my apologies. I saw the news." She simply nodded her head, not knowing how to respond. It irked her knowing he had seen the story. "It's unfortunate." Craig stated. "It is." She said, looking down at the ground, annoyed. "Maybe your DS agents will change their protocol." The man suggested. Before she could reply Ellen Hill summoned Sterling over towards her by a wave of her hand. "Excuse me." He murmured, before stepping away. Lizzie's eyebrows furrowed together, not sure what to make of his comment.

She wasn't sure where she'd rather be right now. At the office or at home? At least on the seventh floor she had the authority to brush people off and throw commands at her staff when she didn't want to address their questions. At home, with her family it was different. She felt she owed them an explanation.

"Hi." She said dully, after stepping through the door. Henry removed his glasses from his face before moving across the office to be near her. He kissed her lips softly before asking, "How was today?"

"Different." She answered vaguely. "I'm going to need a little more to work with babe." He teased. A faint smiled formed on her lips. "People just seemed to stare. Most too scared to say anything about the matter." She elaborated. "And the press?" He questioned, worried about their presence. "My personal body guards…" She joked. "Kept them at bay." She finished. He nodded. "Did you talk to Conrad?" Henry wondered. She shook her head. "No. He's at Camp David for the day, but I'm sure he's heard."

Bess took the few steps to the home bar, and poured herself a glass of whiskey. "How are the kids?" She probed, tilting the glass to her lips. Henry inhaled a breath of air. "A bit confused, but they're fine." He answered honestly. "They all upstairs?" She replied. "Yes, but Elizabeth you don't have to do this tonight." He was giving her an out, knowing how difficult this was for her. She laughed dryly. "And what… keep them locked away in the house forever?" She joked.

~July 2005~

"Elizabeth stop!" He commanded. His wife eyed him, but still continued frantically shoving items of clothing into her suitcase. Henry stepped out of the doorway, and into their bedroom. "This isn't going to take back 9/11." He said, trying to break through to her. She shook her head, and scoffed at him. "It's been four years. 9/11 was just a bad day, and already we're starting to forget?" She asked, unbelieving that he of all people was saying this. "I served in combat in Iraq. I'm not forgetting anything." He fought, raising his voice at her. She took a huff of air, and slammed another pair of pants into her bag. "There are a lot of people, doing what I do. We refuse to forget so others have the luxury to do so." She said.

"Henry, I have to go back. I have to do this." She told him. "You're injured already." He reminded her. She glanced down at the sling holding her shoulder in place. "I'm not letting you go." He said, stepping towards her. "What…are you going to keep me locked away in the house forever?" She joked, zipping up her luggage. He didn't know what else to say. "Think of our kids, Lizzie." He ordered, firmly. She grabbed her bag off the bed, and headed for the door. "I am." She muttered, back facing him. "The world has fallen apart." She whispered, whipped around to see him. "I know, but that doesn't mean ours has to." He responded. Her mouth was agape. She stared into his eyes. "I'll be back in three weeks." Bess informed him. He shook his head. "This won't bring her back." He knew why she was really doing all this. The guilt was eating away at her, driving her, pushing her to do more. "I have to go." She mumbled, before walking out the door.

~present~

Elizabeth fiddled with her rings, as she nervously sat in front of her three children. Once Henry took a seat next to her, she had the courage to begin. The problem was she didn't know where to start. "Do you remember my friend Erica Miller?" She asked her kids. All three of their faces crumpled in confusion. Elizabeth knew Jason and Allison were too young to have any memory of the woman, but Stevie may be a different story. "I think so. She had brown hair and glasses. What ever happened to her, we haven't seen her in a long time?" Stevie recalled. Bess looked down at her hands again. "She was killed in the line of duty ten years ago." She announced, sadly. "I'm sorry mom." Ally comforted, although she didn't remember her mom's friend. "I don't mean to be rude, but what does she have to do with this tape thing?" Jason questioned, insensitively.

"Because on the video I was heard mentioning her." Lizzie began. She opened her mouth to speak, but stuttered, "I… We were in Baghdad together when we were attacked. I made the call to send a team in. It was the decision that killed her." She explained. She gazed up to Henry, silently pleading for his support. He grabbed her hand, and nodded for her to go on. "I did a lot of things in Iraq that I'm not proud of." She revealed. "Like what?" Ally spoke up. Elizabeth sighed, dreading this moment. "Like using...unethical techniques to get intel from Iraqi soldiers." Bess disclosed. "You mean…" Jason's voice trailed off. "Yes." She answered, simply. She studied their faces, but their emotions were unreadable. After a moment of silence she asked, "Do you understand?"

Stevie abruptly stood up from the couch. "I understand that my mother is not the person I thought she was at all." Stevie rose her voice, staring directly at Elizabeth. "Who did you think I was?" Bess pushed. "I don't know, mom. Not a torturer!" She yelled and moved quickly to the staircase. "Stephanie!" Henry shouted. The teenager stopped and turned around hearing her father's use of her full name. "We were at war, Stevie. It changes things." Lizzie told her. "But it was still wrong." The girl argued. Bess nodded her head. "It's ultimately why I left the company." She admitted, glancing at Henry. Stevie nodded, rubbing her lips together. "Yeah. And then you came home. You came home and you told us you'd been in Jordan the whole time."

~June 2005~

Ally used her pink marker to put an x through another day on the calendar. "How many more days daddy?" The six year old asked excitedly. A flustered Henry, who was trying to fill his coffee mug while holding a wiggling three year old, looked over at his daughter. "Two more weeks noodle." He answered her. "But how many days is that daddy?" Ally drew out the word days, not understanding what the word weeks truly meant. "Fourteen days baby." He explained. "I miss her. I wish she could be home now." Ally pouted. "Me too." He mumbled. Henry set Jason down next to Allison, and searched the kitchen for his car keys. "Ally watch your brother for a minute while I start the car." Henry made a move to leave, but turned. "Oh and call Stevie down here so we're not late to her soccer game. "Okay daddy." The little girl agreed. Henry turned the corner to the door, and what he saw nearly caused him to drop to his knees. Elizabeth stood in the doorway, setting her suitcase on the floor. "Lizzie…" He called out, relieved that she was home. He took the few short steps between them to embrace her, but she put up a hand stopping him. "Please, Henry." She pleaded. His eyebrows furrowed as his eyes scanned over her, falling on the sling on her left arm. "Are you hurt?" He asked, concerned. She let out a huff of air, trying to keep the tears away, but she was unsuccessful. She nodded her head as she chocked back a sob. "What happened?" He probed, seeing if she could disclose the information. "Erica… she's gone." She cried. Bess clamped a hand over her mouth, trying to keep quiet. "Oh, Elizabeth." Henry replied sympathetically as he engulfed her small frame gently, keeping in mind that his wife was injured. "Mommy!" A call came from the staircase. A ten year old Stevie came running towards her. Elizabeth looked away from the girl, wiping away her tears. Stevie smiled up at her mother. "How was Jordan, mom?" She questioned, excitedly. Bess ran a hand over her forehead. "Mommy just needs a minute sweetie." She declared before walking away.

~present~

"You were happy to pick up where you left off." Stevie reminded her. "Everything is more complicated than you think it is right now. And the only way to come to know that is through experience." Elizabeth said looking up at her daughter. The teenager just shook her head in disbelief. "Stevie…" Her father began. "Please. You would defend her even if she was standing above a dead body holding a gun… and in this case I guess that's exactly what's happened." She provoked, then marched up the stairs. "Stephanie Jane!" Henry screamed louder than he thought possible, but their daughter didn't turn around. Henry turned and locked eyes with his wife. She looked defeated.

Lizzie stood in the kitchen at two am, sipping on a cup of green tea, hoping the warm drink would help her sleep. Her mind was too wound up to be able to succumb to the much needed rest.

She had been standing there, back pressed against the cold countertop replaying her day at the White House, before she grabbed the house phone from its cradle. A few rings later and a man answered with a 'hello'. "Russel. I need your help."


	8. Chapter 8

Chap 8

She never knew how many rooms sat empty in The White House basement. The rooms underground never crossed her mind, until she needed a secure place away. Away from prying eyes, listening ears, and even her security detail. "That's a wild accusation, you're throwing out there." Russel was disbelieving of her. "It's not an accusation." She fought, leaning forward in her chair. "Oh yeah? Then what is it?" He challenged, looking at her from across the small room. Elizabeth sighed. "You have a hunch, this 'feeling'." He laughed, mocking her. "Keep in mind my previous profession, the one I was damn good at I may add, was based on those 'feelings'." She replied, putting air quotes around the word feelings. The chief of staff looked off to the right, while Lizzie kept an unyielding glare on the man. "How certain are you about this?" Russel asked. Bess leaned back in her chair, and rubbed her lips together. "Eighty five percent." She answered.

Russel huffed. "Go over this again." He commanded. Elizabeth nodded. "He goes out of his way to pit me and Conrad against one another. Craig sees me as his opponent; the prize is Conrad's attention. And in order for him to 'win', he tries to turn Conrad and me against each other. He's been this way ever since we've met. He finds our relationship threatening." Bess started, before she stood and began to move about the room.

She walked slowly, waving her hands around. "But it's mostly the comments he's made, one in particular. Yesterday he approached me after the NSC meeting, and suggested that DS adjust their protocol on sweeping the house. Now, any and all security protocols aren't public knowledge, including for him. The only way he could have known that information is if…" She was cut off by Russel. "He had someone on the inside." The man finished. "Yes." She exclaimed. "So I did my research." Bess told him, handing him a piece of paper. A picture of a man, along with his personal information was printed on the sheet. "Scott March took his post on my detail two months before all of this occurred. I don't know him very well, but he's quiet, keeps to himself." Lizzie sucked in a breath of air, and took a sip of her coffee before continuing.

"March is very detail-oriented, does everything by the book. Never makes any mistakes… accept he missed his rotation to clear the house on that Wednesday after the dinner, allowing the camera to be in place two extra days." She explained. Russel shook his head. "I don't know Bess. This is far-fetched." Elizabeth plopped down in her chair. "Yeah I know. You're just gonna have to trust me." She told him. He sighed, unsure of how to handle this.

"Mike you've been awfully quiet." Russel said. The chief of staff and The Secretary both turned their heads to glance at the usually animated lawyer. The man seemed to be lost in thought, until he looked up at them quickly. "I have an idea." He announced.

"Hey Jason, you going to Danny's?" His friend yelled down the school hallway. Jason turned his head, hearing his buddy's voice. "Wouldn't miss it!" He shouted back. The other boy gave Jason a thumbs up before walking to his next class.

As Jason walked the last few steps to his locker, he heard Preston's voice. "Hey McCord!" He heard before he had the chance to shut his locker and walk away. "Preston." Jason addressed, no emotion in his voice. He didn't care for the guy who published offensive things about his mother on his blog. Preston walked right up to Jason, a smirk playing on his lips. "I didn't see you at school yesterday." The boy stated. "Yeah well, I wasn't feeling good." Jason replied, trying not to play into whatever he had in mind.

"You wouldn't have happened to see my blog last night?" Preston began, "I've taken a hiatus from social media." He told him. Preston frowned at his declaration. "Well that's too bad, you've missed out on all the fun things I've been posting about the infamous Elizabeth McCord… I will say one thing… god damn her legs make up for the fact that she's killed somebody. Honestly her being able to kick someone's ass is sexy as hell." The boy went on. Jason clenched his fist in anger. "I have class, Preston." Jason mumbled before walking down the hallway.

It was late. She had told Henry she would be up in bed two hours ago, but she didn't have the will power to turn the lights off, and give in. She wanted to keep working. Reading, and then re-reading memos kept her busy. It kept her mind away from the chaotic world right outside her home. Lizzie slowly brought the mug of green tea to her lips, and turned the page of the binder. Being honest, she didn't completely know what she was currently reading. She was on page one hundred and three, losing focus about forty pages ago. "Mom." A soft voice sounded.

Stevie had wandered down the steps ten minutes ago. Truth was since her 'fight' with her mom, she hadn't been able to sleep well. She laid in bed awake, remembering that her mother was currently sitting alone in her dark office. She felt guilty. Guilty for all the things she had said, for the way she acted. So she pulled herself from her warm bed, intending to have a civilized, adult conversation with her mother. But then she saw her sitting there. Glasses falling down her nose, head buried in something bulky looking. Her face was tired. She couldn't imagine how she could be feeling at this very moment.

Elizabeth looked up, finding her twenty year old daughter in the doorway. "Hey baby." She greeted her. She heard her daughter sniffle, with it being so late the house was dark, so she was unable to see her face. "What's the matter?" She barely got the last word of the question out before Stevie collapsed into her lap. Lizzie wrapped her arms around her, comforting her as she sobbed. "Stevie." She said, as she stroked the girl's hair in a soothing manner. "I'm sorry." Stevie cried out in between weeps. Elizabeth gently rocked the shaking teenager, almost as if she was her little girl again. "It's okay." Bess tried to calm her. Stevie shook her head, and looked up at her mom through her tear filled eyes. "No it's not. I was awful. You should be angry. I said awful things to you." She cried. "Stevie, I threw a lot of… upsetting information at you all. I expected a similar reaction from you… and your siblings." She quickly added the last part, trying not to target her normally dramatic daughter.

"That still doesn't make it right. I was a bitch mom, and I'm sorry." Stevie told her frankly. "I can't even begin to imagine how you feel right now." The girl said. Elizabeth sighed. She was right. Everything has happened so fast, she hadn't even had the chance to stop and confront her feelings. Elizabeth pulled Stevie closer to her, and kissed the top of her head. "Sweetie, I'm fine. Everything is going to be fine." She told her daughter. She didn't know if she was trying to convince Stevie or herself. "Everything's okay." She whispered.

AN: Sorry for not updating over the weekend, but I've been quite preoccupied with trying to make my college decision. I apologize for this chapter too, it's a bit boring. But it all has a point, and it serves its purpose as a filler. More to come soon. Happy reading :)


	9. Chapter 9

Chap 9

~Baghdad 2005~

Elizabeth glared up at the screen, watching on as the team of six cautiously approached the building. Her mind began to race, working through every possible outcome this rescue could result in. She sighed beginning to rethink her decision, but she quickly pushed down her uncertainty. She didn't… the field agents, who were currently putting their lives on the line, didn't have the time for her back and forth game she was playing. She reassured herself that this was the right choice.

She took a deep breath, and attempted to cross her arms over her chest, but a radiating pain reminded her of the bullet wound in her left shoulder. The pain brought her back to the present. Back to the room filled with tense people. She studied the screen, running her eyes over the group's surroundings. She watched as the agents took their final places. "They're in position." Major Lane declared. Bess's mind barely even registered the words. She was too preoccupied with something on the monitor. She squinted her eyes and tilted her head slightly to the side. "On my count." They heard one of the six agents mutter.

"Wait. What's that?" Elizabeth questioned, pointing towards the TV. "What's what?" Major Lane responded. Heads turned to look at the woman in command. "That." Elizabeth answered, stepping forward and pointing to the upper right section of the screen. "Agent McCord, I don't see what you're seeing." Another man in the room told her. Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Her eyes were trained for this. To see things that weren't there. Something was off; this wasn't right. And then she saw the slight flash of light. A gun. She jumped into action right away. "Get them out of there, it's a trap!" She barked. She grabbed the microphone, and yelled, "It's a set up. Get out. Get out now!"

But it was too late. The bullets started flying. People started running. And then there was an explosion. She winced at the loud sound. It left her ears ringing. She glanced back up to the monitor, only to see the building go up in flames. "Commander?" Bess said, hoping, praying to get an answer. "Commander?" She repeated, but there was nothing. The line was dead. "Damn it!" Elizabeth yelled, ripping the ear piece from her ear. She frantically turned her back to the others in the room, but quickly flipped back around. Her heart was beating out of her chest. She ran her hand over the back of her neck, desperately trying to keep it together. But her mind went right to Erica. "Director Dalton, ma'am." A younger looking man handed her the phone. She hesitated before bringing the device up to her ear.

"What happened?" he questioned harshly. Her eyes closed, and her voice hitched, not knowing how or what to say. "We were ambushed." She admitted quietly. "God damn it, Elizabeth!" He screamed. She pulled the phone away from her ear, not ready for his ridicule. She handed the receiver off to someone to her left. She gasped for air, as she stole another glance at the horrendous scene playing out on the monitor. "Fuck!" Elizabeth shouted as she slammed her hand down hard against the counter.

~present~

Elizabeth swiftly sat up on the couch, gasping desperately for air. Her eyes were wandering as her short and shallow breaths returned to normal. "Babe?" She heard. Henry looked down at her, concern written on his face. "Elizabeth are you alright? You were shouting." He asked, before joining her on the sofa. "Just a… a nightmare." She mumbled. A nightmare that she had lived before. Henry slid closer, and wrapped a comforting arm around his wife. "You want to talk about it?" He opened the subject up to her. Henry picked up the blanket that had fallen to the ground amidst Elizabeth's fitful mid afternoon nap. Well attempt to nap.

Lizzie sighed, not knowing where to begin. "I should have seen it sooner." She admitted. He tilted his head, silently telling her to continue. "I was trained to see these kind of things, but I didn't." She told him. "If only I had noticed even a minute sooner, I could have saved her… saved them all." Henry didn't know what to tell her. "Babe, you did everything you could. You can play these what if games all day, but it isn't going to change what happened." He responded. She looked down at the floor, and nodded her head. Henry knew that his words didn't ease her pain one bit. He pulled her close, and kissed the side of her head. "Why don't you go upstairs, and try to sleep. You had a long day yesterday."

~yesterday~

Her head was aching before she even stepped foot into The State Department this morning. Usually she'd go home with a head ache from the long days she'd spend at the office. But recently she'd been arriving with throbbing temples due to the lack of sleep she had been getting.

Before she could even take her seat at the conference table, her assistant was shoving a cup of coffee and a scone into her face. "Thanks, Blake." She gave a small smile to the hardworking man. Bess brought the steaming mug to her lips, but pushed the plate holding the pastry across the table. The thought of eating something made her nauseous.

"What's on the agenda today?" She asked the room full of her staff. "You have a meeting with The British ambassador. A scheduled call with The US ambassador to Yemen, and lunch with Minister Chen." Nadine listed off some of the things on the Secretary's schedule. "Is that all?" Bess wondered. "There is one more thing ma'am… A few news stations, including Face the Nation, are asking about an interview with you." Her chief of staff told her. Elizabeth shook her head. "Tell them no."

"Pardon me ma'am, but I think it would be best to do at least one of the appearances." Daisy spoke up. "I said no, Daisy." She said quickly, trying to move on from the topic. "I know what you said, but as your press secretary I am advising you to do this." Daisy fought. "And I am telling you I will not." Lizzie said, firmly, meeting the fiery eyes of Miss Grant. "Then release a statement." Daisy replied. Bess shook her head, and took a deep breath. "The public is confused. We need to put you in a positive light." The press secretary commented. Elizabeth stood from her seat abruptly, and braced herself against the table. "This can't be spun in a positive way, Daisy!" She yelled.

"I'm just doing my job, trying to protect you." She argued. "You're right…" Bess said simply. Daisy sighed, relieved that she had finally broken through to the stubborn woman. "The public is confused. No one knows the whole story, and that's how it will stay… at least for now." She finished her statement. Daisy frowned at her words. "Excuse me Madam Secretary. Mike B. and Russel Jackson are in your office." Blake interrupted.

"What are you two doing here?" She asked, after closing the heavy wooden doors. She crossed the office over to the two waiting men. "We have a problem." Mike answered. "Okay?" She muttered. "Sterling's not there yet." Russel announced, before sitting back into the couch. "Why not?" Lizzie asked. Russel shrugged. "You can lead a horse to water…" He joked. Bess sighed then questioned, "So now what?"

"We wait. Give him a bit more time." Mike replied. Lizzie slowly made her way over to the window. "I want this guy gone." She stated. "You don't think we do?" Russel pointed out. Elizabeth pulled back the curtain, and bit her lip at the sight outside. She knew there were protesters outside The State Department, but this… this hurt.

Her mouth fell agape as she read their signs. 'Torturgate, Murderer McCord, Go back to the CIA, Butcher Bess.' My god they were horrific. "Traitors are like serial killers; they don't stop at one." She heard Russel say. She turned back to them, letting the curtain fall shut. "I want to tell Dalton." Lizzie admitted. "That's not possible." Russel countered. "Not if we want to win an election." Mike added. "Sterling had to go of his own volition. That's the only way to eliminate him and protect The President at the same time." The chief of staff stressed. She crossed her arms over her chest, defensively. "Okay. We wait." She said.

~present~

"Babe, go lay down and get some rest." He told her again, rubbing soothing circles along her back. "I won't be able to sleep." She admitted, shyly. "How about I make you something to eat." He offered after realizing how thin his wife was looking as of recently. The stress was eating away at her. She shook her head no. After a moment of silence, she turned to him with a playful look in her eyes. "You know what I want?" Lizzie questioned, bringing both hands to land on each of Henry's shoulders. He cocked his eyebrow, curious to hear her answer. "Ice cream." She whispered before softly connected her lips to his. "Mhm." He laughed into the kiss. "I should've guessed." He teased. She smiled and chuckled slightly.

"What kind of ice cream are we talking?" Henry countered. Her eyes lit up, and she bit her lip before replying, "Thomas Sweet. You know the place a few blocks from The State Department?" He laughed. "I remember it." He said. "I can run and get it for you." Henry volunteered. Bess shook her head again. "I want to go." She declared. The smile that had occupied his lips for the past five minutes instantly fell at her statement. She clearly noticed his change in expression. "Come on. The kids can come. We can sit and be together as a family." She tried to convince him. "Elizabeth, I don't think that's the best idea." He protested. "Oh come on. I need to get out of the house." She defended. Lizzie could see on his face. "Henry." She began, grabbing his hand to hold. "It will be fine." She said. He didn't want her to go, with everything that's happened, but he realized this was the best mood she had been in since this all started. "Oh DS is going to love this." He joked.

Oh god this is just what she needed. She nearly moaned as she brought another bite of the creamy delicious dessert to her mouth. "Someone tell me about their day." Bess commanded, attempting to ignore the few camera flashes from outside. The three siblings glanced at each other, each one not knowing what to tell their mom. That was until Henry nudged Ally under the table. "I got an A on my chem test." Allison spoke up. Elizabeth smiled at her. "That's great noodle. I know you worked hard for it." She told her. "Give me more." Bess requested, motioning with her hands. "I gave your favorite lecture today." Henry disclosed. A huge smile stretched across her lips. "On complex peace operations and civil military relations? Why didn't you tell me?" She scolded but in a spirited way. Henry swallowed his bite of ice cream the answered, "You've had a lot on your plate babe. And besides you've heard the lesson about as many times as I've taught it."

"And I'd willingly go again. You teach it too well not to sit and listen." She countered. "God, if only my students were as enthusiastic as you." He teased, which resulted in a fit of laughter. "Stevie how was…" Lizzie was unable to finish her question. She was interrupted by a middle aged man. "I'm surprised you'd show your face in public right now." The man announced. The McCord family turned their heads to see the source of the voice. Upon the man's approach to their table, Matt stepped in between him and The Secretary. "Excuse me?" Elizabeth was taken aback. "With everything in the news." The man clarified.

"I have nothing to be ashamed of." She quickly replied, turning back to her husband and kids. "Oh really? So you're for the mistreatment of others in order to get the information you need?" He pushed. Elizabeth's face turned to stone. "I never said that." She answered calmly. "Coming from the woman who tortured people for a living." The man scoffed loudly. By now the whole ice cream parlor had quieted. The occupants were listening in on the heated conversation. After seeing the anxious expressions on her kids faces, Lizzie turned in her chair slowly to look at the guy. "I'm with my children." She said softly, pleading for him to stop. "Frankly Madam Secretary…" He mocked her title. "I don't give a damn. I think we deserve some answers." The guy criticized, taking a step forward. Matt held a hand up, reminding him not to come any closer. Lizzie stood sharply, quickly losing control of her anger. Henry did the same. Her mouth opened to let the words of fury fly free, but Henry stepped in. "Elizabeth." He warned. She looked around, noticing all eyes were on her. The flashes outside reminded her of the multiple cameras trained on her. Lizzie took a deep breath, and returned her attention to the man in front of her. "You're entitled to your judgements." She said simply, before her security detail led her and her family away from the people.

"How are the kids?" She asked immediately after Henry walked into their bedroom. "They're fine. More worried about you than anything." He answered, climbing into bed next to her. "I should talk to them." Bess made a move to get up, but Henry grabbed her hand. "Tomorrow." He told her. He pulled his wife in close. They instantly fell into a comfortable embrace with her head resting on his shoulder. "Do you ever think about what our life would be like if I had never took this job?" She whispered. "Elizabeth you're good at what you do." Henry looked down at her and said. "That wasn't my question." She argued. He huffed and scratched the side of his face. "Sometimes, yes I do." He answered honestly. "But then I remember that this is what you're meant to be doing. What we're meant to be doing, together." Her husband reassured her. She met his eyes and sadly smiled. It seemed he always knew the right things to say. "Plus, you were bored at the horse farm." He remarked. The arm he had wrapped around her middle gently squeezed her side causing her to laugh. But the moment quickly passed, and her smile faded. She thought back on her most recent meeting with Mike and Russel. She went over their plot in her head, but she had her doubts. If Mike's plan doesn't begin working fast, she knew what she had to do.

AN: So there we have it the next update. What do you think Elizabeth is planning on doing? Sorry it's taken me a little while, I've been really busy. But good news I chose where I'll be going to college next year!


	10. Chapter 10

Chap 10

She was apprehensive, to say the least. She knew this was what is best for her family, but in the back of her mind she couldn't help but question this undoable decision. The seriousness of her situation weighed down on her shoulders, causing her tense muscles to ache. Her steps were heavy, as she approached the door. She stopped with a sigh, and turned to the young assistant. "Is he free?" She muttered. The previously preoccupied young woman abruptly stood from her desk, realizing who was present. "Yes, Madam Secretary." She answered, formally. Lizzie nodded her head, turning towards the door. This was it. She could still change her mind, but she stepped forward instead.

He looked up at the door, hearing the click of the doorknob. "Elizabeth." He greeted her, a bit surprised to see his Secretary of State. "Mr. President." She said, slowly approaching him. She came to stand directly in front of his desk, patiently waiting for him to finish up whatever he was working on. Lizzie had her head down, and her hands behind her back. After Conrad set his pen down, and looked up from the document on his desk, he asked, "What can I do for you, Bess?"

Elizabeth connected eyes with her friend's, and swallowed. She brought her hands out from behind her, and handed him the piece of paper. He accepted it willingly, not knowing the meaning. "My resignation, sir." Lizzie said, lowly. The President's head snapped up to meet her gaze. "I can't accept this." He fought, shoving the file back at her, but she didn't reach out to accept the paper. "Yes you can." She said sadly, but sternly. "I won't." He clarified, shaking his head in disbelief. "Sir." She protested. "Don't make this any harder." Elizabeth added. "This is a rash decision." He said quickly. "I've thought about it, a lot." She argued, crossing her arms over her chest. "Well think about it some more." POTUS proposed. "It's what's best for you and your administration, and for my family." She noted, trying to give reason for her choice. "Bess…" He began in disagreement. "Conrad, this scandal is tearing me apart… it will rip your reelection to pieces." Lizzie told him. The President was silent, staring straight ahead until suddenly he thrusted the sheet of paper back across his desk, towards her. "Take some time, and think this through. Bring this back if you really believe it's best." He explained.

Elizabeth slowly made her way through the halls of the West Wing to the empty bowels of The White House. She walked down the dark and dingy hallway until she stopped in front of the familiar door, and entered the room. "You really think that's the best option?" Russel sounded unconvinced. "If we want to get this done, and fast than yes, I do." Mike answered. Lizzie stood frozen in the doorway, lost in her own thoughts. Her fingers were fiddling with the piece of paper that POTUS refused to take. "What's that?" Mike asked. The Secretary looked up to see two curious faces. "What's what?" She replied, unsure if the previous question was directed towards her. Mike nodded to the file she was holding. "It's my resignation." Elizabeth disclosed.

Mike's eyebrows shot up towards his hairline. "Woah woah, why didn't I know about this?" Mike protested. Lizzie took the few steps to the table, and sat down in her normal seat. "This doesn't concern you, Mike." She declared. He held up his hands for an explanation. "I'm your lawyer. I'm the one who's supposed to talk you out of these kinds of things, especially when you're not in the right state of mind to make such critical choices." The feisty man fought. She looked over her glasses at him, staring him down. "Now, before you make any stupid decisions that you can't take back I have a plan B." Mike announced. Bess opened her mouth to reply, but the shrilling of her cell phone interrupted her. She answered with a 'hey babe.' Russel assumed or rather hoped she was speaking to her husband. He watched as her features turned to shock, and then quickly to anger. "He what?" She rose her voice. "I'm on my way home." She said as she nearly jumped out of the chair.

Henry was waiting for her by the door when she arrived home. She sighed when she saw him. Henry instantly wrapped his arms around her, sensing she needed some kind of physical contact. "Where is he?" She whispered. "In the kitchen." He answered. She looked up into his eyes. "He's really suspended?" She asked in disbelief. Henry nodded. "And Preston's nose, it… it's really broken?" Bess questioned. "Apparently, Jason has a pretty good right jab." Henry tried to joke. "I can't believe we're talking about our kid." She told her husband. "You're the one that wanted to go for three." Henry replied. She cracked a smile at his remark. "God, I'm so used to him getting in trouble for saying the wrong thing." She muttered. "I guess he figured out that actions speak louder." Henry responded.

"You got suspended!" Elizabeth said loudly, upon her and Henry's entry into the kitchen. Their son glanced up from his notebook, but didn't say anything to his mother. "Jace, what happened?" Lizzie questioned, before sitting down at the breakfast table. Jason shrugged. "Preston was saying some things about you." The boy admitted. "I understand that it can be frustrating, but Jason you cannot hit anybody." She told her son. He nodded, showing he understood. "We have a meeting with Dean Ward, and Preston and his parents later today." Henry spoke up. Jason huffed. "Quaker rules. And you have to make this right, bud. The Dean expects a formal apology." Henry said to his son.

Craig followed The President's chief of staff through his office door. Russel went straight to his desk while Sterling stood in the middle of the room, appearing out of place. "Have a seat. Coffee?" Russel offered. Craig accepted. "You've been having a rough time in the Situation Room, haven't you?" Russel opened up the conversation, before pouring two cups of coffee, and taking a seat in the chair next to Sterling. "You could say that." He replied vaguely. Russel stayed quiet, giving him the chance to elaborate. "I've been having some issues getting my opinion heard ever since McCord ran that risky op getting our operatives back." He admitted. "Well what can I say, it's your word against The President's star pupil from CIA. I don't like your odds there." Russel justified. Sterling simply eyed the chief of staff. "Look I know you're not a fan of hers, and right now she thinks I'm working against you. But if we play our cards right, we can turn the tables. Box her out for good."

"Which you want because?" Craig asked. Russel took a sip from his mug. "She's reckless. That op she ran is one of the latest examples. She's running around like she still works for The Company. Not to mention this whole scandal thing is going to negatively affect The President's reelection prospects. She's a liability, and I just don't like her." He proclaimed. "We need to ice her out; keep her away from POTUS, and steer Dalton to you. He still values your counsel." Russel went on. Craig nodded. "You want her to crash and burn." Sterling clarified. "She's already on the edge, with everything with her husband." The chief of staff made known. "Her husband?" The man questioned, not knowing anything about the topic. "Oh yeah, they're on the brink of divorce. There's been talk of him stepping out on her but…" He trailed off, shrugging his shoulders. "Everything with her past in the CIA stirs them up. I mean come on, he's a religious professor. We all knew he was going to have some major problems with the ethics and morals of a torturer." Russel snickered.

"Jason." Elizabeth began. "Hmhm." He mumbled. "Look at me." She demanded. Jason turned his head, and looked at his mother from across the car. "You're going to apologize." She commanded. "But I'm not sorry." Jason defended. "You're not sorry about breaking another kid's nose?" Lizzie mused. "No, no… Okay I am sorry I hurt him that bad." The teenager divulged. "Good you should be. You lost control. And no amount of self-righteous anger can justify that." Henry said. "Okay. I'll apologize." Jason responded. "But only for punching him. Not for defending mom." He added. "I can live with that." Bess replied. "Professor?" She asked, wondering her husband's opinion. "Yeah. That works for me." He agreed. "All right, great. How much longer, Matt?" She asked her DS agent. "Five minutes until we reach the school, Madam Secretary."

"Jason, in the spirit of Westmore's founders, and in accordance with the honor code, are you willing to shake hands and apologize?" Dean Ward asked. Jason stared across the table at Preston. There was a moment of silence. Lizzie swallowed, waiting to hear her son's reply. But Jace simply nodded his head. Both the boys stood, and Preston extended his hand, while Jason shoved his in his pockets. "I'm sorry about your nose, Preston. But I'm not sorry I stood up to you." The McCord boy stated firmly.

"Jason, you owe Preston an unreserved apology." The Dean announced. "He said awful things about my mom. And not to mention the pictures he put up." Jason argued. Bess's eyebrows knitted in confusion. "This is your last chance." Dean Ward warned. "Woah, pictures?" Elizabeth butted in. "That has already been dealt with." The Dean explained. "Excuse me, but we weren't informed about this." She spoke up, glancing at Henry. Jason looked over his shoulder at his parents, and swallowed. "They were inappropriate." Jason said. "Inappropriate, but they're all over the news for anyone to see." Preston's dad chimed in. Lizzie looked at the man, and then at Henry. Her mouth hung open, showing how she was feeling. "This is your final warning, Jason." The Dean reminded. "Well, Dean Ward, if I may…" Bess began. "You may not." The woman cut her off. "Jason did just apologize." Elizabeth went on anyways, ignoring her. "Your son is expelled." She stated. "Seriously?" She asked in disbelief, standing up as she did. "What?" henry asked at the same time.

"Did you not hear him apologize?" Henry fought, standing next to his wife. "He didn't mean it." The Dean argued. "Really? So you read his mind?" Lizzie criticized. The older woman rose from her chair in opposition. "Madam Secretary…" She began, but was interrupted by Bess saying, "Because if you can do that, I am sure the CIA would be thrilled to learn your technique." Preston's father scoffed at her words. "I'm sure that would make you happy. You wouldn't need to torture innocent people to get your answers." The man justified. "You're out of line!" henry yelled while Lizzie muttered a simple, "Excuse me. You don't know what you're talking about."

"This is a Quaker school. Nonviolence is one of our core values." The Dean said, keeping the families on topic with the matter of discussion. "So is integrity. Our son is following his conscience. And you behaving like a tyrant is in direct contradiction to the basic precepts of the Quaker faith." Henry countered. Elizabeth pointed to her husband, and said, "World renowned religious scholar. Nailed it."

"I think it's time for you to leave." Dean Ward announced. "Really? That…" Henry started, but Bess turned to him and said, "Okay, wait a minute." She turned back to the Dean. "Let's just be reasonable. You're not expelling Jason." She remarked. "Madam Secretary, I'm sure you're used to getting your way at The State Department, but I'm in charge here." The older woman affirmed. Lizzie nodded her head, and chuckled slightly. "That's cute, but if I ran The State Department the way you run this school, the world would be a smoldering ember." She fumed.

Henry stepped in seeing as this was beginning to get out of hand. "Uh, babe, that's enough." He mumbled. "Okay. Get out, or I'm calling security." Dean ward demanded. Elizabeth laughed again. "Oh really? Are you sure you want to do that? Because I don't like their odds against my detail. I mean given the whole, you know, nonviolent thing." She said as she moved towards the door.

They both stood back, watching on as Jason cleared out his locker. "So you got everything?" Henry asked after their son closed his locker door. "Yeah." He muttered. "I'm sorry buddy." Henry apologized. "I should be the one apologizing. This wasn't your fault. My whole mess caused all this." She admitted. Jason shook his head. "I'm the one who punched him mom, and I'd do it again for you." Lizzie gave a slight smile, and patted Jason on his shoulder.

The man answered with a hoarse 'hello.' Craig paced his dimly lit living room, holding the phone up to his ear. "Keep an eye on Mr. and Mrs. It seems their marriage is circling the drain. Get back to me soon." Sterling commanded.

AN: Well here's the next update. Thanks for everyone who has been leaving reviews! I love reading what you have to say. So only a few more chapters left of this story :( I'm sad, but if you have any prompt ideas, send them my way. And someone asked where I decided on college. I chose the University of Cincinnati! They have the 2nd best program in the country for what I want to do, so I'm excited.


	11. Chapter 11

Chap 11

It was nearing dark when the three SUVs pulled up to the Georgetown home. Before the car could even come to a complete stop the back door flung open and she came barreling out. It seemed she couldn't stand to spend another second in the vehicle. Right on her tail was her husband, looking more irritated than ever. "This conversation is over." She declared, walking towards their house. He scoffed, and then replied, "Of course everything's on your terms."

She froze at his statement. She slowly turns around and strides down the few concrete steps she had already ascended. "Excuse me?" She asked, offended by the blow. "You heard me." He fought. She shook her head. "Lizzie please, we can work on this." Her husband pleaded, turning the conversation back to the original matter.

"No." She said firmly. "We're done. You're free to run off with whoever the hell you want now." She added, turning away. But before she could progress forward Henry grabbed her wrist, stopping her from moving. Lizzie glared at him over her shoulder, anger in her eyes. "Let go of me Henry." She commanded. He gently released the grip on her arm. She bit her lip and sighed, realizing she needed to inform him of her recent decision. "I filed the papers Henry." She admitted. "Sign them. It's what's best." She told him. "You're giving up on us?" He questioned, not believing what he was hearing. Lizzie let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding. "I can't do this anymore." She cried. "There's nothing else to fight for." She whispered, staring into his sad eyes. They stood there for a moment before she looked away from his piercing glare, and took the last few steps towards the house. "Elizabeth." She heard him call, but she didn't look back.

Once in the seclusion of her own home, Elizabeth nearly fell back against the front door. She felt sick. That was the most difficult thing she had ever had to do. She never imagined she would have to have that conversation. It nearly destroyed her. "You think they bought it?" Henry whispered, seeming to appear from thin air. She looked up to see her husband standing in front of her. "We'll find out." She said quietly. Henry saw that look in her eyes. The look. Something was wrong. "Hey, come here." He led her away from the door and into the kitchen.

"You okay?" Henry asked her, worried about his wife. She sucked in a breath. "I think we had too well of a performance out there." She tried to joke. "Too real?" He suggested. "Too real." She confirmed. "Babe." He called before pulling her into his warm embrace. "I love you so much." Elizabeth said. "I love you too." He replied, kissing her forehead.

"Is that all we need to go over, Nadine?" Elizabeth asked, as she shut her planner. "Yes ma'am." Her chief of staff answered. The Secretary nodded her head as her staff began to filter from her office. "Daisy." Elizabeth called, resulting in the press secretary turning around. Ms. Grant rose her eyebrows silently questioning what her boss needed. "A word." She demanded. The younger woman walked further into the room, coming to stand a few steps away from her desk.

Lizzie removed her glasses from her face, fiddling with them in her hand, and looked up at Daisy, meeting her eyes. "I owe you an apology." She held up a hand as her press secretary opened her mouth to disagree. "I know I've been… difficult to work with recently. And I know that you're simply trying to do your job. I just hope you can understand why this has been hard for me." She spoke. "Of course Madam Secretary." Daisy told her. "This is a very sensitive topic." Elizabeth declared. "I never imagined this would happen." She mumbled, slipping her glasses back on.

"But moving forward I will work harder to be more cooperative." She said. "I appreciate that. And with everything considered… you're handling this better than most politicians ever would." She responded. "Well Daisy I'm not your normal politician." Lizzie quipped. "And concerning a statement for the press, I promise that will be happening in the near future. I just need a bit more time." Daisy opened her mouth to respond, but a knock on the door interrupted the conversation.

"Excuse me ma'am. Russel Jackson called and said it was urgent." Blake announced. "Imagine my surprise." She joked, standing from her chair as he assistant opened the door to her closet. "He also said you'd need these." Blake informed her, holding up her pair of gym shoes.

"What is with you people and running?" Mike teased, out of breath from trying to keep up with the other two. Elizabeth chuckled. "It's good for your mind." She huffed. "It isn't worth it." Mike snickered quickly. "With all the stress on our hearts, we need the exercise." Russel declared. "Can we get to the point of this so I can stop this torture?" Mike complained. Elizabeth clenched her fists at his statement. "Nice word choice." Russel commented, pointing out the man's use of the word 'torture'. It dawned on Mike what he had said. "Sorry." He mumbled, apologizing.

"I talked to the reporter who originally leaked the story." The chief of staff announced, getting the discussion back on track. This got Lizzie's attention. Since this all started she'd been very curious to know who had been responsible, and you could say she was still angry. "Vanessa Chung from the Chronicle." He answered her. Her face crinkled, trying to picture who he was referring to. And then it clicked; she was vaguely familiar with the woman's work.

"She was sent the tape…" Russel stated, but stopped talking when another group of runners were spotted ahead. The trio stopped in their tracks. "Oh thank god." Mike wheezed, thankful for the break. They moved off to the side, knowing both groups couldn't fit on the path, especially with Elizabeth's detail.

Once the few people passed, they began running again. "She is to contact me if she receives any new information." Russel went on. "How'd you pull that off?" Elizabeth probed. "Let's just say she owes me a favor." He answered. "Mike…" Bess started, but stopped when she realized he wasn't beside her anymore. She, along with Russel, came to a halt. She looked behind her and laughed seeing the man a few yards back clearly having a hard time. She shook her head and then declared, "Alright, I'm going back to my office." Elizabeth jogged ahead and began making her way back through West Potomac Park.

It was past nine. So when his phone rang he knew it would be important, probably work related. But when he saw the very familiar number flash across his screen he answered right away. "Yeah?" Craig questioned. "You were right. It seems the happy couple isn't so happy." The caller replied. "What happened?" Craig asked. Scott thought back on what he had witnessed the previous night. The man stood on the right side of the front door when the SUVs rolled up. He watched on as The Secretary, followed by her husband exited the vehicle. They were arguing, he knew that by listening to the tone they were both using with each other. About what was the question. The first few exchanges of angry words could be about anything. 'We're done.' He heard her say, and that's when he was glad he was wearing a bug. When Scott heard Elizabeth's declaration about divorce papers, he knew they were finished. The man was pulled from his thoughts by the call of his name. "I've got it all recorded." He reassured.

Elizabeth sat, back pressed against the headboard of their bed, glasses still on, staring at the television. She watched on as the same story, her story, played over and over. "Babe you shouldn't be watching this." Henry opposed as he came out of the bathroom, and slipped into bed next to her. She gazed blankly ahead, appearing that she hadn't heard him. "Elizabeth." He called. "Hmm." She mumbled. "What are you thinking?" He asked as he grabbed her hand, and caressed the backside with his thumb.

She turned her head slowly to look at him. "Who would do such a thing? Who wakes up in the morning and asks themselves how can I hurt the McCords today?" Lizzie sputtered out. "Why would someone do something like this?" She added. "I wish I knew." Henry muttered. "God I just wish I could take it all back." She grumbled, frustrated with the situation. Henry knew she was really struggling with this, and he would do anything to just take away the pain. "Never be a prisoner of your past. It was a lesson, not a life sentence." He told her.

She rolled her eyes. "Quotes aren't going to work Henry." She said sadly. "Well I'll keep going until they do." He declared. "Let go. Why do you cling to pain? There is nothing you can do about the wrongs of yesterday. It is not yours to judge. Why hold on to the very thing which keeps you from hope and love?" He spoke, but her frown remained. "If people refuse to look at you in a new light and they can only see you for what you were, only see you for the mistakes you've made, if they don't realize that you are not your mistakes. Then they have to go." She sucked in a deep breath. "Who said that one?" Elizabeth asked. "Steve Maraboli." He answered before she leaned her head against his shoulder. "I've hurt a lot of people Henry." She admitted. He looked down at her face. "Maybe so, but you've helped so many more." She looked up to meet his eyes before their lips softly connected. And that's when her phone decided to make itself known. She groaned at the interruption. Lizzie rolled across the bed, and fumbled for her cell phone. A text from Russel. 'We got him.' The message read.

AN: Sorry for the long absence. I was busy with school the week leading up to spring break, and then spring break was crazy as well. But it was lots of fun! Fun fact last week I met the vice president, and you could say I was very excited. Anyways one last chapter to go and that will be the end to news cycle :( It's been a journey. This was my first multi chapter story. The first few chapters were rough, but I certainly learned a lot, and I believe I came out a better writer. Let me know what you liked (and didn't). And if you need something else to read check out my new story 'here for you'. Thanks for keeping up with this story! I appreciate each and every one of you! Happy reading and watch out for the final chapter of news cycle!


	12. Chapter 12

News cycle

Chap 12

"So, I see you haven't brought your resignation back." Conrad acknowledged as he and his Secretary of State both took a seat in the chairs in The Oval Office. Elizabeth slightly chuckled, thinking back on how she nearly made that huge mistake. "No sir." She replied.

"Good. That was the right decision." He said matter of factly. She simply rubbed her lips together and nodded her head, as she glared through the windows, staring at the blooming flowers. "Bess." Conrad called, pulling her attention back towards him. Their eyes connected, and she knew whatever he was about to say would be something serious.

"How's the situation with the tape?" The President asked. "It's been dealt with." She answered rather vaguely. "Do I need to know anything concerning the matter?" He pushed. Elizabeth shook her head. "No sir. It's been handled." She said honestly.

~yesterday~

She wasn't nervous. Furious, yes. All the pent up anger she'd been shoving deep down was making itself known. She sat at the large table, unmoving, watching the clock. Her anger seemed to increase as each second ticked by. Elizabeth took a deep breath, reminding herself she needed to stay calm.

Another few minutes slowly went by before the man she'd been expecting busted through the conference room doors. "Russel what…" Craig trailed off once realizing it was only him and The Secretary in the room. "Where's Russel?" He asked, confused why the person who had summoned him to The White House wasn't present.

"He won't be joining us." She told him, before sipping from her coffee cup. "May I ask why?" The man said, already annoyed with the woman. Craig walked further into the room.

"He didn't call you here." She stated. "I did." She added, looking up at his face, wanting to gauge his reaction. "And that reason would be…" Craig mused, crossing his arms over his chest. Elizabeth stood, coming face to face with The National Security Advisor. "You see… I want to know what the hell you're trying to do here." She said calmly.

"I don't follow." He shared. Elizabeth laughed. "I know you were the one who placed the cameras in my home." She declared, staring directly into his eyes. "I don't know what you're talking about." He argued, shaking his head.

"You can drop the act. My DS agent, Scott, is giving his statement, implementing you, right now. We know you paid him." She explained, leaning against the edge of the table. "What I want to know is why?... Were you jealous of my relationship with Henry?" She provoked him, knowing that wasn't the reason why he did all this.

He scoffed at her statement. "God no. I pity any man who marries you." Craig snipped. "Come on Elizabeth, you're smarter than that." He added. She took her weight off of the table, and stood straight once again.

"So this is about Conrad then… The teacher liked me better, so you decide to screw with my career." Elizabeth mocked.

"You're screwing with mine." He countered. She rose her eyebrow, urging him to elaborate. "I should have been Secretary of State!" Craig screamed, pointing at himself. "You're not even a politician! You didn't know the ways of Washington. It should have been me!" He criticized.

Bess crossed her arms over her body. "You didn't get what you wanted." She stated. "I didn't get what I deserved." The man corrected. She laughed and shook her head at his statement. "Well I hate to break it to you Craig, but your career in this administration is officially over." Elizabeth announced.

"You can't prove anything." He fought. "I can prove plenty." She reassured. "Please, you have no concrete evidence." He declared. "No, but I know you did this." She remarked. "Yeah, so what I did it; it's Scott's word against mine. No one will believe him." Craig replied. There was a moment of silence.

"Here's what you're gonna do. What you did is punishable by law… you can leave out the back door with your dignity intact, or you can go out the front in handcuffs… It's really up to you." She told him.

"Did you not just hear me? You can't prove anything." He pointed out. That's when Elizabeth smirked, and eyed him. Slowly she pulled back her blazer, revealing a recording device. She was wired. "Doesn't feel good does it?" She quipped. Craig's face paled, and his smile fell. "Son of a bitch." He muttered. 

"Not bad, as far as resignations go." Elizabeth announced upon entering The President's chief of staff's office. "He always was a plain-spoken man… Never should have trusted him." He admitted as he poured three glasses of scotch.

"I would say 'I told you so', but you know I'm above that." Elizabeth teased. Russel laughed. "I'm not… I told you so." Mike spoke up, just as Russel handed off the tumblers to the other two occupants of the room.

"Well thank god Vanessa owed you a favor, Russel." Elizabeth commented. The man nodded. "Craig called her last night. Gave her a story about The Secretary of State filing for divorce." Russel explained again. "Nice acting by the way." The man added.

"I think this calls for a toast." Mike declared, standing from his seat. "To career assassination." Russel said. Elizabeth laughed, before they all clinked their glasses together.

~present~

"So concerning Craig's replacement…" The President trailed off. "I have a few people in mind." Elizabeth admitted. "I look forward to hearing them." He replied. There was a pause before Conrad spoke again.

"By the way… Craig's resignation. That was… sudden." He commented. "Yes, Mr. President." She said simply.

"So through this whole mess…" Elizabeth began, referring to the tape leak. "Daisy's been pushing to release a statement. I didn't want to approach the subject until it had been taken care of. Now that it has… I'm holding a press conference this afternoon." She informed her friend. He nodded.

"And CIA has given you permission to declassify?" Conrad questioned. "Yes sir." She answered. "Well Bess, I'd like to be there with you." The President told her, wanting to show his support. "I would greatly appreciate that sir." 

Elizabeth looked at herself, eyes roaming up and down, checking her appearance in the mirror. She turned to face her girls. Stevie was sitting on the bench at the end of her and Henry's bed while Ally stood a mere few feet from her. "Noodle?" Bess questioned, holding her arms out, awaiting a critique of her outfit from her daughter. She was skeptical of her own choice. Allison stepped up to her mom, fixing the top of her white blouse. "Exactly what I would have picked." Ally said.

"Shoes?" Elizabeth asked. Before her younger daughter could answer, her oldest had already fished out a classic pair of black stiletto heels from her closet. "Perfect." Allison commented on her sister's decision.

"You look great mom." Stevie declared. Elizabeth smoothed the non-existent wrinkles in her grey pencil skirt. "Are you nervous?" Ally probed, sensing her mother's mood. Bess sighed. "A bit." She answered honestly.

"You know we support you in everything you do… and I wanted to apologize again for my behavior the other day… I can't even imagine how hard this all is for you." Stevie told her. Her daughter's words nearly brought tears to her eyes. "Come here baby." She demanded softly, wrapping her arms around her daughter.

"I love you so much." Elizabeth whispered. She opened her other arm, and motioned to Ally. She joined the pair in the embrace. "I know this hasn't been easy… and I appreciate all the sacrifices you've both made since I've taken this job." She told her girls.

"We love you mom." Allison responded. A moment later, Henry and Jason appeared in the doorway. "You guys ready?" Her husband questioned. "Lipstick." Stevie reminded. "Noodle could you…" She trailed off. Ally disappeared into the bathroom, while Elizabeth moved to place a kiss on her husband's lips.

"You okay?" Henry wondered. She nodded, before moving to her son, ruffling a hand through his hair before pecking kisses on the top of his head. "Mom." He drew out, complaining.

Allison reappeared from their en-suite, handing her mom a tube of lipstick. Elizabeth stepped in front of the mirror, applying the pale pink color to her lips. "It brings out your eyes." Ally muttered from behind her shoulder. Elizabeth merely smiled. "She's right." Henry admitted, appearing at her side. He wrapped an arm around her middle, before gently kissing her temple. 

Elizabeth and Henry walked hand in hand from the car. They stared straight ahead, paying no attention to the camera flashes on either of their sides. "Mike?" Elizabeth called, surprised to see the man at this very second. "Hey." He greeted, stepping in front of her, blocking her from some of the cameras. "You're supposed to go straight back to see your staff." Mike told her, repeating what they had told him. She nodded. "Any last minute advice?" Elizabeth asked. He sighed. "As your lawyer… The damage is already done… Be yourself."

She was told to head straight to the area behind the small stage, away from the press. And she was doing just that until a familiar face caught her eye. Her mouth fell agape, shocked by the older woman's presence. Bess turned to her husband. "I'll be back there in a few minutes." She whispered before letting go of his hand. She took the few steps to the woman. "Mrs. Miller." She greeted sadly.

~June 2005~

"How are you holding up?" Conrad asked, as the woman took a seat in the chair across from the sofa occupied by Bess and her boss.

It had been a week since they had returned from Baghdad. Conrad had invited Erica's mother to Langley, wanting to personally talk with the woman. He had suggested that Bess be present, being as she had met Mrs. Miller a handful of times.

"Just how you would expect." She answered. "I wanted to convey my deepest apology for your loss. Erica was a friend and a great analyst." The CIA Director voiced. "Thank you." The grieving mother replied.

Elizabeth couldn't meet the woman's eyes. The guilt of Erica's death weighed down on her chest. "Were you there?" Elizabeth looked up realizing she had been talking to her. "Excuse me?" She muttered. "I asked if you were there." She repeated. Bess glanced down at the sling on her left shoulder. "Yes." She answered.

"Can you tell me… did… did she suffer?" The mother asked, tears streaming down her face. Elizabeth was aware Mrs. Miller was being kept out of the loop of what happened in Iraq, being as the information was classified. She knew she would have questions; Conrad had already told her they couldn't tell her much.

"No. She didn't." Elizabeth confirmed. She had no clue if her answer was the truth, but she was trying to give Erica's mom the closure she needed. "She… she talked of you quite a bit… both of you actually. But Elizabeth, she thought you were an excellent analyst… told me you'd go on to something bigger… do great things." The woman claimed.

Elizabeth trembled, nearly letting her façade fall. "I admired your daughter. She always did what was right." Bess spoke. Mrs. Miller nodded, unable to respond. She looked off to the side as she cried.

~present~

"Madam Secretary." The woman said formally. "Please… It's Elizabeth." She corrected. She didn't know what to say. She knew her friend's mom had to have seen the tape. Her presence here, at the press conference, supported that fact. God, she probably holds her accountable for her daughter's death after watching the video. Elizabeth wouldn't blame her if she did.

"Well give me a hug. I haven't seen you in years." She demanded. Elizabeth embraced the woman, although she was surprised by her reaction. "I'm so sorry." Bess began, but Mrs. Miller held up a hand stopping her.

"This wasn't your fault. Erica was the one who decided to join the CIA. She knew the risks. And she was willing to give up her life to help protect others. No matter what happened over there… I don't blame you, and neither does she." Elizabeth sucked in a breath. Mrs. Miller sheepishly smiled. "She always knew you'd do great things." 

After exchanging a few words with her staff, Elizabeth, followed by Conrad, walked onto the stage towards the podium.

"First and for most I would like to thank everyone for being here…" Elizabeth trailed off. She looked down at her index cards that were full of notes, and then back up at the audience. She caught Henry's eyes. He nodded at her. 'Be yourself.' Mike's words repeated in her mind. She set her notecards off to the side, deciding against them. She took a deep breath and then went on.

"About two weeks ago I was woken at three thirty in the morning to a screaming Russel Jackson. Not even a phone call. I was graced with his presence. He informed me of a story in the news revolving around me. Pictures of my husband and I were and still are splashed across every news outlet across the country. You can't miss them. Maybe you've even seen the full video… You could say I'm angry. Furious, embarrassed, and confused even… I still can't wrap my head around the audacity of the person who decided to infringe on my right and my husband's right to privacy. What you saw or what you heard was in our own home, between the walls of my own bedroom… The conversation between my husband and I, almost four weeks ago, was a very private one." Elizabeth took a break to straighten her glasses.

"Now most of you know I prefer to stay out of the press. Most of the time I don't feel as if I need to comment. But right now I feel I owe you all an explanation… The CIA has given me permission to declassify operation Yellow Sun, but I won't go into major details…" Elizabeth paused and looked out into the group of people, instantly catching Mrs. Miller's gaze. "Ten years ago my friend Erica Miller, along with six other CIA operatives were killed in the line of duty."

~June 2005~

Henry woke in the middle of the night, unsure of the reason. He reached for his wife, but found the other side of their bed empty. A moment later his tired mind became aware of the sound filtering in from their bathroom. He quickly pulled back the covers.

He found Elizabeth on the ground sobbing while dry heaving into the toilet. "Babe?" He asked concerned, kneeling down next to her form. She looked up at him with tears streaming down her cheeks. Her breathing was shallow and erratic. She was in a panic. "I can't do it, Henry." She cried. "What are you talking about baby?" He comforted, rubbing a soothing hand along her back. "I… I can't talk at the funeral… How am I supposed to look into all those people's eyes and not tell them what actually happened?" She spit out. "It wasn't your fault." He replied, but she started to cry harder.

Elizabeth sat nervously in the church. The only reason she was able to be here was due to the presence of her husband. He kept her grounded, focused on the present. When it was her turn to speak, he nudged her up, kissing the side of her head before she made her way to the front. She spoke about her friend, but she couldn't help but feel like she was lying to the small group of people.

~present~

'She could finally tell the truth.' She thought. "We were in Baghdad. I had been manning the station chief position for the past month when President Dalton stopped by. We received new intel on a terrorist group in a city a few hours from Baghdad. While The President and another agent followed up there, Erica transferred to Baghdad temporarily… That same day there was enemy gunfire on the base, resulting in a fatality, and a handful of injuries, including myself… Two of our men were taken hostage by a group of Iraqi soldiers. The group wanted to swap our guys for a man, whose name I will not share, who we apprehended the previous week." She paused, taking a second to collect her thoughts.

"We had the location where the hostages were being held. I was left with a decision to make. Send a team in, or leave the two men there to die." She chuckled sadly.

"I actually wanted to go in, but Erica wouldn't let me… I ordered a team of six, including Agent Miller, to the location… Ultimately it was the decision that costed them their lives…"

That's when Elizabeth felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned slightly seeing Conrad. "But the best decision. At the time I was angry, but I was merely upset, grieving from the loss of a friend and a fellow agent. In reality I would have made the same call." Conrad announced, showing his support for Bess, before stepping back to his previous place on the stage. Elizabeth mouthed a 'thank you', and then continued.

"There was gunfire followed by an explosion once they were on site… We were ambushed. We lost seven lives that day, along with a piece of me." She stared out at Henry, letting a single tear escape down her cheek.

"I've never taken my work at The CIA lightly. It's a demanding job, fulfilling at times. I would like to believe the good I did while working there outweighed the bad… And of course I don't agree with all of The Company's actions. Everyone has their own opinions and beliefs… But I stand by their goal of working to make the world a better place completely." Elizabeth stated firmly, eyes roaming over the crowd. She nodded, and then said, "Thank you", concluding her statement.

Reporters began throwing questions at her left and right, but she merely turned and began walking off the stage. Conrad followed. Once she reached the small staircase, Henry was there waiting for her. He instantly connected their lips in a passionate yet gentle kiss.

"I'm so proud of you." He told his wife once pulling away. "It's just another news cycle, right?" She asked needing his reassurance. Her husband nodded. "I'll be with you through each and every one babe." He told her. Elizabeth smiled as she grabbed his hand, ready to venture their way through the array of reporters. 

AN: Well there we have it. My first completed multi chapter story. I apologize for the delay, but I just didn't want to end it, so I pushed back writing the final chapter. I read through the whole thing last night, and wow I can say my writing (in my opinion) has come a long way. I am very proud of this story, and very sad to say goodbye to the storyline and especially the character of Erica Miller. This was very fun to write and I can't wait to move on to what's next. I wanted to thank all of you who kept with this story, and I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. PLEASE let me know what you think. Did you like the ending? How about the relationship/bond between Russel, Mike, and Elizabeth in this…. haha because I loved their little trio especially when they went running together in the previous chapter! Oh my gosh I have to go now because I could go on and on forever. Happy Reading and REVIEW! :)


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